As mothers, we share a unique bond and a common goal: to support each other in this wild journey of parenthood. Sometimes that means gently pointing out behaviors that drive us all a little crazy. Here are five things we’d love to see put to rest.
1. Stop Seeking Your Child’s Approval
“Sweetheart, we’re heading outside now, alright?” “It’s time for a shower, okay?” “Let’s tidy up first, does that sound good?” I often hear parents seeking consent from their little ones, and I can’t help but wonder why they’re asking a four-year-old for permission to wash up. The reality is, we don’t need to give our kids a vote on everything. If I listened to my kids’ opinions all the time, my days would be spent bouncing between video games and swimming pools. I set the agenda, so let’s wrap up those sentences with a period instead of a question mark. Save the questions for when the kids genuinely deserve a say.
2. Avoid Referring to Yourself in the Third Person
When kids are infants, saying things like “Mommy loves you” is essential for establishing who you are. But by the time they hit two, that labeling should stop. Hearing a grown man say, “Daddy’s making dinner now” to an eight-year-old is cringeworthy. It not only makes the older child seem younger but also reduces your identity to just “dad.” Your child should recognize that you are a father, a friend, and so much more.
3. Cut Out the Empty Threats
“If you keep kicking that ball inside, I’ll take it away. I really will!” Kids can see through insincerity. It’s far more effective to follow through on your words rather than repeat empty threats. If you say you’ll take the ball, mean it. I have my off days too—tired or just not feeling up to it—but when I do speak up, I want it to carry weight. Consistency is key in teaching kids the value of your word.
4. Don’t Shift Blame to Your Kids
I was at a friend’s home during dinner prep when I noticed the kids were having juice instead of water. The dad shrugged it off, claiming, “They just prefer sugary drinks.” Well, if it’s in the fridge, they will reach for it. If you can’t say no to sugary options or manage what’s in the house, don’t keep them around. Blaming kids for their choices only sidesteps parental responsibility. Remember, if they’re only offered water, they’ll drink it.
5. Don’t Enable Their Pickiness (Especially in Front of Others)
Recently, I invited a family over, and the parents sent a flurry of texts about their kids’ picky eating habits. While it’s crucial to respect dietary restrictions, enabling standard pickiness only teaches kids to be difficult. Set expectations: if your child doesn’t like what’s served, they can graciously accept it without making a fuss. It’s about teaching manners and resilience. I often prepare my daughter with a filling snack beforehand and remind her to show appreciation, even if she doesn’t eat what’s offered. If she’s still hungry later, she can always have a granola bar at home.
From someone who’s been there—asking for permission and making empty threats—let’s put a stop to these habits for the sake of our community. Supporting one another as moms means stepping up and making changes for the better.
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Summary
In this article, we explore five common behaviors that mothers wish would cease—asking kids for permission, using third-person references, making empty threats, blaming children for their choices, and indulging pickiness. By addressing these issues, we can foster a more supportive parenting environment.
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