My partner Mark and I have one of those fancy coffee machines that uses little pods. With just a button push, you get your morning brew. Sure, they’re bad for the planet, and I know there are plenty of reasons to ditch them. But we can’t agree on a new coffee maker, so we default to this one. Honestly, we’re too exhausted to make the choice, so we keep hitting that button each morning, thankful for the caffeine fix and one less thing to think about.
Just the other morning, I found myself attempting to brew a cup of coffee. All I had to do was push a button! Even a monkey could manage that, right? Yet, I forgot to place the cup under the spout. Instead, I watched helplessly as coffee flowed over the counter, creating a sticky mess everywhere but in my mug. Ah, the joys of motherhood—clearly, I’m not at my sharpest.
For years, I’ve said my little ones and the demands of motherhood are what wear me out. Sleepless nights, early wake-up calls, and tiny feet digging into my ribs have certainly taken their toll. But there’s a different kind of fatigue I’ve recently come to recognize—mental exhaustion, often referred to as “decision fatigue.”
According to a recent article I read, decision fatigue is a psychological phenomenon where one’s ability to make choices deteriorates after an overwhelming number of decisions, even if they’re trivial. I can totally relate! By the time I’m done deciding what cereal to serve or whether I’ve brushed my teeth, I feel like a computer that’s just short-circuited.
The article points out that high-profile leaders like President Obama often wear the same outfit daily to minimize unimportant decisions. This resonates with me. My mind is so cluttered with mundane choices that I’m concerned I won’t have the mental space for the big stuff—like nurturing my kids, teaching them kindness, and preparing them to navigate their own decisions in life.
A Morning of Decisions
Most mornings start with a flurry of sounds: coos, cries, and little feet racing around. And then come the questions:
- 5:59 AM: “Can I play Mario?”
- 6:02 AM: Baby cries. What does she need?
- 6:03 AM: “Mommy, where are my Legos?”
- 6:12 AM: “Can I play Mario?”
- 6:15 AM: “Do I have school today?”
- 6:22 AM: “Can I play Mario?”
- 6:29 AM: “Did I brush my teeth yet? Should I brush again?”
- 6:30 AM: “Can I play Mario?”
- 6:37 AM: Baby again – diaper. Did I change it before?
- 6:45 AM: “When is breakfast?”
- 6:46 AM: “What is breakfast?”
- 6:49 AM: “What are we doing today?”
- 6:51 AM: “What is the weather today?”
- 6:53 AM: “Where are my shoes?”
- 6:54 AM: “Where is my coat?”
- 6:59 AM: “Why is Mario not working?”
In that first hour, I’m making decisions for not just myself but also my kids—about four different people, every four minutes! It’s a miracle I even have time for a bathroom break or to contemplate life’s larger mysteries, such as “Why isn’t Mario working?”
As I grab dish towels to mop up the spilled coffee, I realize I’m exhausted for all the wrong reasons. I start thinking about my “mommy uniform”—something simple that removes another decision from my day. But more than comfy yoga pants, I wish I could don a suit of armor. I want their questions to bounce off me so I can teach them how to make choices and sift through life’s noise. My role isn’t to make their choices but to guide them in making their own.
And in a moment of clarity, I make my first, last, and most important decision of the day: I choose to love them enough to let them figure it all out. We’ll tackle the big stuff together, and I won’t stress over where the pajamas are or why Mario is malfunctioning. “Go choose a snack, and when you’re done, come find me.”
As we celebrate Chanukah, we’re creating latkes and memories together. Luckily, I’ve saved just enough energy for that. For more insights on the journey of motherhood and decision-making, check out this resource and this authority on the topic. Plus, if you’re looking for excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination, you can visit this link.
Summary
Motherhood brings not just physical exhaustion but a unique mental fatigue from constant decision-making, often referred to as “decision fatigue.” The overwhelming number of choices, even the trivial ones, can leave parents feeling drained. By recognizing this phenomenon, we can strive to focus on teaching our children how to navigate their own decisions while preserving our energy for what truly matters.