When you become a mom, everyone seems eager to share their wisdom. Some of it is genuinely helpful—especially when it comes with a nice bottle of wine or a thoughtful gift card. But then there’s the advice that can feel more annoying than useful, and ironically, we might find ourselves repeating it to other new moms down the line.
- “Savor every moment.” This line makes my skin crawl. Suddenly, it feels like everyone thinks I should be relishing every second of this exhausting new role, like I’m on a tropical vacation or something. After months (let’s be honest, years) of dried breast milk on my clothes and dark circles under my eyes, I was hardly in an enjoyment zone. Sure, I adored my baby, but exhaustion was my new best friend. The sheer volume of screaming and fussing left me feeling guilty for not loving every single minute. I later realized that this advice often comes from those who’ve forgotten the chaos of early motherhood.
- “Make time for yourself.” Seriously? What kind of magic time are they talking about? With a tiny human attached to me 24/7, I barely remember what it’s like to enjoy a hot meal, let alone carve out personal time. Unless the person doling out this advice is ready to babysit, it’s not exactly the most practical suggestion.
- “Don’t feel guilty…” Guilt is like a shadow that follows new moms everywhere. I’ve met some incredible mothers, and none have completely escaped the guilt trip. A better mantra would be, “It’s okay to feel out of balance; it takes time to figure out this parenting gig.” Acknowledging parental guilt as a sign of care and concern is far more liberating than dismissing it entirely.
- “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” This has to be the most ridiculous advice ever. Newborns nap for about twelve minutes, maybe eighteen if you’re lucky. And let’s be real, most of that sleep happens while you’re trying to eat that long-forgotten sandwich. Unless you possess some superhuman ability to fall asleep in an instant, this advice is just plain impractical.
- “Stay calm, and your baby will be calm.” Sure, babies often pick up on our vibes, but that doesn’t mean a calm mom guarantees a serene baby. If that were the case, I would have spent two years blissfully munching on Doritos and nursing my perfectly peaceful baby. Some little ones just thrive on chaos, transforming even the most relaxed parent into a bundle of nerves.
- “Trust your instincts.” While instincts can be helpful, the idea that we should automatically know what to do once the baby arrives is misleading. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure. A more supportive phrase would be, “I’ve been there; it’s tough. I’m here for any questions you have.”
Let’s agree to ditch the cliché advice that often leaves new moms feeling more anxious. Instead, let’s offer genuine support, like a helping hand or even just a sympathetic ear. If you’re curious about other resources to support your parenting journey, check out this link for more insights. You can also explore this resource for expert tips. And if you’re navigating the tricky world of fertility insurance, this site is a fantastic resource.
In summary, new moms often feel overwhelmed and pressured by well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Instead of sharing clichés, let’s focus on providing real support and understanding.