When you’re a parent of twins, you quickly realize how often people exclaim, “Wow, TWINS! How do you manage?” My response is always the same: A) I don’t have a choice, and B) I can’t compare it to anything else since I’ve had two kids from the start.
It’s true; I don’t have an option. I can’t just send one back or ask one to wait a few years while I enjoy the single-child experience. Having two kids of the same age vying for my attention has been my norm since day one.
But this week, I got a glimpse into the world of most parents. My daughter, Mia, was under the weather, so I kept her home from preschool. For three whole days, while her twin sister, Zoe, was off making friends, Mia and I enjoyed some quality one-on-one time.
Before this, I had no frame of reference for parenting a single child. If someone told me that having one child was tough, I’d nod along. If you mentioned the challenges of juggling kids of different ages, I could imagine it. And if you said that having three kids was chaotic? I’d totally agree. My friend has seven kids — yes, seven — and I believe her when she says that she often feels like she’s living in a blur.
Raising any number of children presents its own set of hurdles. While I usually maintain an annoyingly positive outlook on the joys of raising twins, I must admit that, after this brief experience, parenting just one child felt incredibly easy by comparison.
Now, before all you parents of singletons start throwing things at me, let me clarify: I know this is all relative. Having just one child at home this week was a refreshing change, but it’s because it’s a novelty for me. I realize that if I had started with one child or spaced them out like most people, my experience would be different.
This week has given me a taste of what parenting could have been like had I not opted for twins. It’s been a delightful experience! For example, I had the time and patience to let Mia bake muffins from scratch by herself today. I supervised, of course, but I didn’t lose my cool when she spilled flour or started licking the bowl before pouring the mixture into the cases. Baking with twins usually feels like a chaotic battlefield; today, I was more like a calm chef in a cozy kitchen.
Zoe benefited from this week too. I left Mia at home with her dad for an entire afternoon while Zoe and I enjoyed lunch and some shopping. It was such a pleasure to have only one child with me! I didn’t worry about spills or chasing anyone around the store. I only had to wrangle Zoe into her car seat, which made everything feel more manageable.
I’ve realized that when you’re a twin parent, the idea of having only one child feels, well, downright easy! Sure, people might argue that only children face their own challenges, like boredom or loneliness. But guess what? Siblings can feel lonely too, and it’s way more pronounced when you have multiple kids whining for attention. Sure, only children might require their parents to be their playmates more, but at least there’s one child picking the games, saving you from the negotiation chaos that comes with siblings.
While I absolutely cherish my life with twins and will likely remain annoyingly upbeat about it, I think I’ll try to carve out more one-on-one time with each child. Just to remind myself how simple parenting can be!
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Summary
: Parenting one child is surprisingly easy compared to raising twins. A brief experience of one-on-one time with each of my daughters revealed how manageable it can be. While I love having twins, I’ve realized the joy of focused interactions and will incorporate more individual time moving forward.