Dear Amazing Educators,
I know you won’t remember me as Sarah or even as the mom of Mia, Sam, Lucas, and Lily. This year, I’m quite sure you’ll remember me as “That Parent.” And you know what? I’m totally embracing it right from the start — it’ll save us both some time and potential awkwardness!
First off, let me say that I truly recognize the hard work you do. You are among the most underpaid and underappreciated people around, and I want you to know that I value your efforts immensely. You play a vital role in shaping my children’s future and helping them become functional adults (who hopefully last longer than 22 minutes on their own).
We’ve just begun what I suspect will be a long school year, so I felt it was important to introduce myself before anything embarrassing happens in your classrooms. Fun fact: This is the first time in 14 YEARS that all four of my kids are in school full-time. Yes, I’m sorry in advance!
I thought this would be a joyous new chapter for me — and it is! But having them all gone for hours is way more challenging than I imagined. I mean, all those forms I need to sign about running laps, photo permissions, and internet safety? I promise you, it’s not that I don’t support my kids’ activities. In fact, I have no qualms about them running a mile or being photographed. However, rifling through their backpacks is totally a thing of the past for me. If they don’t have those forms signed, feel free to enforce whatever logical consequences are in your handbook.
To the Music Teacher
Lucas is still without an instrument, but that’s not on me! He thought he was signing up for guitar and, after some serious negotiations, has settled on the cello. But just a heads up, that won’t fit in my car. Once he finally decides on a violin, I’ll be sure to order it.
To the Language Arts Teacher
To the language arts teacher who gave Mia a “0” for not having her copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, you can blame Amazon for that one. Their prices are just too good to pass up!
To the School Nurse
And to the school nurse: every time I see your number pop up on my phone, my heart races. At first, I’m relieved it’s not the principal, but then I panic thinking something has gone wrong. Just a heads up: if neither Lucas nor Sam is vomiting or running a fever, they’re probably fine. They seem to magically recover the moment they’re near an Xbox!
To the Art Teachers
To the art teachers: I know I’m late on the supply payments. The initial load of supplies cost an arm and a leg, leaving me without my beloved caffeine fix. So, please bear with me! Speaking of supplies, I’m so relieved I didn’t have to buy toilet paper like some other schools required. Wow, just wow.
To the Math Teachers
And to the math teachers: please just explain to the kids that asking me for help is considered cheating. When Lily asked about the probability of picking a red sock from a batch of 6 red and 5 blue ones, I told her it was probably as likely as me surviving the next decade. I truly hope she didn’t jot that down as her answer!
Well, that’s about all I have for now. I’m completely worn out! If anyone wants to meet me at the local store around 4:00 today, I hear they’re having a buy-one-get-one on my favorite drink. I’ll bring the straws!
Sincerely,
Sarah, aka That Parent
In summary, this light-hearted letter is a humorous take on the challenges of parenting during the school year and acknowledges the hard work of educators. It encompasses the joys and hurdles of having all kids in school full-time while expressing appreciation for teachers and a willingness to communicate openly.