I didn’t grow up with camping trips, and while I never actively opposed them, my experience was quite limited. However, after embarking on a 17-day road adventure with some seasoned camping enthusiasts—spending nine nights in five different campgrounds—I’ve gathered enough insight to share why camping might just be one of the wildest things we modern humans do.
1. Pit Toilets
Our campground at Yosemite promised flushing toilets. Turns out, that was a little misleading. The closest flush toilets were a good seven-minute hike away, which meant that in urgent situations, we had to rely on the pit toilets lurking in the center of the group site. For those unfamiliar, pit toilets are essentially fancy outhouses. They can smell somewhat tolerable after a recent clean-out (a process I like to call “flumping”—you’re welcome). But give it a few uses, and they become positively repugnant. With about 80 campers sharing just two pit toilets, let’s just say my nostrils were not amused. At least there was hand sanitizer, because finding soap in campground bathrooms is like finding a needle in a haystack. Always carry your own soap, folks!
1a. Pit Toilets After Dark
And speaking of those lovely pit toilets, let’s not forget the nighttime visits. Navigating to them with only a flashlight? That’s the stuff of nightmares, right there.
2. Bugs Galore
We were lucky that the summer was dry in the West, keeping mosquitoes at bay. Still, on our first night, I had a vivid nightmare about bugs attacking me in my sleeping bag. I woke up convinced I was being devoured. There might have been no bugs during the day, but just the thought of sleeping outside made me feel like I was constantly under attack. And yes, there were flies in those pit toilets. Flies and no soap. Just let that sink in for a moment. Insanity!
3. Tents
Let’s talk about the absurdity of sleeping in a tent. At home, we lock our doors at night to keep out the strangers, yet while camping, we willingly surround ourselves with unknown folks in the woods, relying on nothing but a flimsy nylon barrier. The whole time, I was mentally drafting a murder mystery plot. “The zipper creaked open slowly…”
4. Wild Encounters
Oh, those cute raccoons and squirrels that invade your makeshift kitchen? Trust me, they’re real. If a bear or mountain lion wandered through a neighborhood, there would be chaos! Yet, while camping, these creatures roam free, with just a thin layer of nylon between us and potential wildlife mayhem. Crazy, right?
5. Fellow Campers
The joy of camping also means sharing your space with fellow campers. One night, I was serenaded by a girl with a guitar, which was nice until I had to endure a family yelling at their dogs all night. Who brings an air horn to the wilderness? Apparently, crazy campers do!
6. Campfire Smoke
In everyday life, we avoid second-hand smoke like the plague, yet we willingly inhale campfire smoke while camping. I might as well have smoked a pack of cigarettes for how much smoke I inhaled. No matter where I moved, that smoke seemed to follow me. Some people love the smell of campfires, but honestly, they’re not my kind of crowd.
7. Embracing Dirt
Don’t be fooled by those pristine families you see in outdoor catalogs. Camping is downright dirty! After days without soap, dirt becomes a part of you. My feet? Still a mess days later. And for the kids? Well, let’s just say they looked like they rolled in mud. Need a shower? Some campgrounds don’t even offer them. When you do find one, it’s a dollar for three minutes of warm water—worth every penny!
8. S’mores Mayhem
And then there are s’mores, the ultimate camping treat. Let’s take a filthy situation and add sticky marshmallows into the mix. We happily serve these gooey delights to our dirt-covered children and then attempt to put them to bed in a tent. Crrrraaaazzzyyyyy!
9. But Here’s the Twist… It’s Fun!
Despite all my complaints, I genuinely enjoyed camping. The fresh air, the stars, and the beauty of nature were refreshing. Watching deer prance around our campsite felt more magical than seeing them in our backyard. The kids got to enjoy the outdoors without distractions, and even the challenges turned out to be character-building. I may love my comforts, but perhaps I’m one of those adventurous souls who revels in camping—especially if I remember to clarify toilet situations and bring my own soap next time!
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Summary
Camping can be a wild adventure filled with unexpected challenges, from pit toilets to dirt and the occasional bear. Yet, amidst the chaos, there’s a unique joy in connecting with nature and making memories with loved ones. Embrace the craziness; you might just find it’s worth it!