The Pottery Barn Kids and Teens back-to-school catalog just landed in my mailbox last week (yes, we’re still in JULY!). Thank goodness, because I was feeling a bit panicked that I might have to resort to that dreadful red bullseye store we often refer to in a half-hearted French accent. Seriously, I don’t want to buy my child’s lunchbox in the same place where I grab my, ahem, feminine products!
So when those pages of back-to-school excitement came tumbling out of my mailbox, I practically danced into my house, reveling in the glossy pages of stylish possibilities. Now, I can take a moment to unwind and reflect on all the ways my own kids and home fall short of this picture-perfect magazine spread.
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy feeling even more outclassed, less fashionable, and more clueless about parenting than you did before. So let’s embark on a Pottery Barn Kids-style Back to School shopping adventure, shall we?
1. The Sophisticated Lunchbox
Your child’s lunch needs to be presented in a sophisticated Bento box. And naturally, it should be prepared by Whole Foods staff and elegantly served in a $50 stainless steel container designed for optimal energy flow. PB&J, a banana, and some chips? So last decade! And let’s be honest, it’s a bit infuriating when your child misplaces a $1 Ziploc. Just imagine the joy when they come home without this stunning piece of craftsmanship.
2. A Dedicated Workspace
Every child deserves their own workspace. Think a $700 adjustable leather chair, a vintage suitcase from a thrift store, trendy industrial lighting that gives off a “prison chic” vibe, a magazine organizer, and a retro lunchbox from the 1940s. Sorry, aspiring mini-executives, but I mastered my times tables sitting at the kitchen table, and I turned out just fine. In fact, I’m writing this post from my “office” — the laundry room!
3. Dorm Closet Essentials
Dorm closets are no longer just for beer. You need a dedicated space for your collection of 30 pairs of shoes, right? Typical college dorms have ample room for rolling carts and linen boxes. Those will surely never be stained by pizza grease or other, ahem, mishaps.
4. The Lounge Area
High school can be tough on your daughter, so she deserves a dedicated ‘lounge’ area. After navigating through 19th-century literature and complex math, who wouldn’t want to collapse onto a plush chaise with decorative pillows, beneath a sparkly chandelier, surrounded by vinyl records and vintage suitcases? Adding to my thrift store list: buy any cute suitcase you find for $5 and sell it on eBay!
5. Personalization is Key
Everything must be personalized. Yep, even that. My kid’s school supply list says he needs six spiral notebooks. No problem — that’ll only set me back about $60. And let’s face it, those notebooks will look pristine all year long! I mean, it’s such a hassle for my child to write their name on their belongings. Who cares that with that same $60, I could outfit a needy child with a backpack, lunchbox, and all the supplies they’d need for the year? Little Timmy needs to know that Spider-Man is uniquely his!
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In summary, the Pottery Barn Kids back-to-school catalog highlights how to elevate your child’s school experience with trendy and sophisticated items that may leave you feeling less than adequate as a parent.