Ah, the bittersweet experience of parenting a high school senior! Any parent knows that the college admissions process can feel like a gauntlet, putting a strain on the relationship you’ve nurtured for 18 years. It can really shake things up, leaving you to question if your once harmonious dynamic will ever return. And just when you think it can’t get any more intense, the future looms—a future where your child will be more physically and emotionally distant.
One day, during the fall of my daughter Ava’s senior year, I decided to shift gears. Instead of nagging her about college essays, I asked, “Ava, any plans for this summer?” She stopped in her tracks, her teenage drama unfolding as she replied, “I don’t know yet, but the summer before college is supposed to be the best summer of my life.”
Best summer of her life? That was new to me. What did that even mean? Was she planning to sleep in, hang out with friends, and give her family the cold shoulder? I couldn’t help but reminisce about my own pre-college summer. I was a camp counselor, driving a van full of rowdy kids every day. Sure, it had its fun moments (hello, cute counselors!), but it wasn’t exactly a whirlwind of excitement. I spent my evenings with friends, lounging at the beach, and didn’t prioritize family time. After all, I figured my parents were permanent fixtures in my life.
So, where did this idea of a “best summer” come from? Rather than tease her, I let it go. Then one evening, after the college admission drama had simmered down, Ava suggested we travel together, inspired by a story she read about a mother-daughter trip. Wow, she wanted to spend time with me! I was the one typically begging for attention! But I quickly dismissed any parenting advice about giving kids space because, let’s face it, she was about to fly the coop, and I was going to seize this opportunity.
But then came her demands. Ava wanted to take the reins—deciding the destination, attractions, and meals, while leaving the not-so-fun logistics to me. Fair enough! She picked Spain, and the planning began. She meticulously researched each city’s highlights and even scouted out the best local eateries. Since my Spanish skills were nonexistent, I relied on her as my translator. For the first time, she was in control, and I was her sidekick.
Our adventure involved flights and trains, where we bonded over books like Glitter and Glue and The Joy Luck Club. Each night, we unwound together, discussing the complex tapestry of mother-daughter relationships and reflecting on our own.
Watching Ava transition from a teenager to a young adult was a gift. She adeptly navigated unfamiliar cities, yet still oscillated between childlike wonder and the responsibilities of adulthood (like frequently misplacing her passport, which allowed me to flex my responsible muscles).
One of my favorite evenings was spent at a charming outdoor café, where she grilled me about my college experiences and sought advice on maximizing hers. We explored themes of balancing fun with responsibility, the importance of not being consumed by grades, and setting both short- and long-term life goals. That night, back at our hotel, we stayed up late reminiscing over childhood photos.
As summer flew by, I found myself standing in her dorm room, sharing one last hug before she embarked on this new chapter. The summer had come to an end, and she was ready for her next adventure. Before I left, I made sure to stick a photo of us from our travels on her wall as a reminder of our special time together.
Now, you don’t have to jet off to Europe to bond with your child. A weekend camping trip or a local getaway can be just as meaningful—what matters is making time for each other. Don’t let this precious window of connection slip away. For now, Ava may call our summer together the best of her life, but I know she’s just at the beginning of many beautiful summers ahead. For me, it definitely ranks among my top summer experiences, allowing me to gather cherished memories and bridge the gap before she flies away.
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Summary
This heartfelt reflection captures the essence of a mother-daughter relationship during a pivotal summer before college. Both humorous and poignant, it highlights the importance of spending quality time together amid the challenges of impending separation.