Hey there, Moms! How’s everything going? Can I tempt you with a drink?
So, here’s the deal: I’m not a mom myself. I might be one day, or maybe not—who knows? My crystal ball broke after I realized I’d never be a princess ballerina, so I can’t predict the future. I know there’s a lot of chatter about the divide between “moms” and “non-moms,” but I’m not here to stir the pot. Instead, I just want to share a few thoughts about my perspective.
1. I Promise, I Don’t Dislike Your Kids.
Honestly, I don’t harbor any hatred for your little ones. Sure, that kid at the store throwing things was a handful, and I didn’t quite appreciate the mother giggling about her “spirited” child, but generally, I find kids amusing. They say the most hilarious things, and honestly, that’s a joy.
2. Your Kids Can Be Fun!
I wouldn’t want to spend all my time with them, but I enjoy their company! Seriously, is there anything funnier than a toddler proudly displaying her big girl panties in a crowded place? I think not! I’m all for letting them indulge in treats and run wild—just not in your home! At my place, though, the rules are nonexistent. I’m more than happy to return a hyper, sugar-fueled kid back to you. It’s all in good fun, and I’m ready for the inevitable payback someday.
3. My Dog vs. Your Child? No Comparison.
Yes, I adore my dog. Yes, I spoil him rotten and love showing off his pictures. But please, don’t mistake my affection for him as comparable to how I’d feel about a human child. My dog is a furry friend, while your child is a developing human being. Totally different ballpark!
4. I Want to Be Your Friend!
I’ve heard some moms say their friends disappear after having kids. If that happened to you, maybe those weren’t the best friends to begin with. Most of my mom friends are people I connected with after they welcomed their little ones. I’m not picky about motherhood status; I just want to know if you’re a cool person. If I inadvertently suggest a lunch during Junior’s naptime, please let me know! I’m flexible and genuinely like hanging out with you.
5. Your Baby Scares Me (A Bit).
I’ll be honest—your tiny baby intimidates me. Until they can hold their head up, I’d prefer to admire from a distance. It’s not that I’m a heartless monster; it’s just that I worry I might break them! The thought of supporting their delicate little head and handling those fragile bones is a lot of pressure. So, let’s keep it at a safe distance for now.
I could keep going, but five feels like a solid number! Now, how about that drink? You look like you could use a good cup of coffee, and it’s on me!
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Summary: In this lighthearted take, a non-mom shares five insights for moms, emphasizing that she enjoys kids, wants to form friendships, and finds babies a bit intimidating. While acknowledging the unique experiences of motherhood, she highlights the importance of connection, understanding, and humor in relationships between moms and non-moms.