When you’re a parent of twins, you quickly get used to the astonished reactions of others. “Twins? How do you manage?” they exclaim, and I usually respond in two ways: A) I don’t have a choice, and B) I have nothing to compare it to. I’ve been parenting two children from the start, so it feels completely normal to me.
This week, however, I got a glimpse into a different parenting experience. My daughter, Fiona, was under the weather, so I kept her home from preschool for a few days. While her twin sister, Mia, was off enjoying time with her friends, Fiona and I had some much-needed one-on-one bonding time.
Until now, I had no frame of reference for being a parent to just one child. If someone told me that raising a single child was tough, I’d take their word for it. Juggling kids of different ages? No doubt that’s challenging. Three kids? Absolutely chaotic. And four? I can only imagine! My cousin has six kids—yes, six—and I completely believe her when she says she often forgets significant moments of her life due to the chaos.
Every parenting journey presents its own set of challenges. While I usually maintain a positive outlook on raising twins, I have to admit that after this week, parenting just one child feels remarkably easier by comparison.
Now, I know that any parents of a single child might be rolling their eyes at my observations. But hear me out! Having Fiona at home for those few days was a delightful change of pace, but it’s only because I’m used to the whirlwind of twin life. I fully understand that if I had only one child from the beginning, my perspective would be different.
This week offered me a rare opportunity to experience life as a parent of one. For instance, today I had the joy of allowing Fiona to bake muffins from scratch, all by herself. I supervised with a smile, not once losing my cool when she spilled flour or decided to “taste the batter” before pouring it into the cases. Usually, baking with twins feels like a military operation, with me as the overwhelmed commander trying to keep order amidst the chaos. But today? It was pure bliss.
Mia also enjoyed the benefits of this arrangement. I left Fiona at home with her dad for an entire afternoon and took Mia out for lunch and shopping. It was such a pleasure to relax in the café without worrying about one spilling their drink while I wrangled the other. I only had to keep track of one child darting under clothing racks in the stores, and getting her into the car seat was a breeze. That day will be a cherished memory.
I’ve come to realize that parenting a single child when you’re used to twins is incredibly… manageable! Sure, you might argue that there are downsides to having an only child, such as potential boredom or loneliness. But guess what? Siblings can feel lonely, too, and it’s often amplified when multiple voices are clamoring for attention. Maybe single children need their parents as constant companions. But at least there’s just one child choosing the games, which means skipping all the negotiations and compromises that come with multiple kids.
While I absolutely love my life with twins and will remain an enthusiastic advocate for it, I’m considering carving out more one-on-one time with each of my girls. It serves as a pleasant reminder of just how simple parenting can be.
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In summary, this week has been an eye-opener. While I cherish my life as a twin mom, the simplicity of parenting a single child, even just for a short time, has been a refreshing experience.
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