Have you ever found yourself in a romantic moment, only to be interrupted by sounds outside your bedroom? I’m not reminiscing about high school antics; I’m talking about the reality of adult life with the ever-looming question: “What if my child walks in right now?”
Years ago, when my first child was still tucked away in a crib, I stumbled upon a charming article titled “Things to Say at That Awkward Moment!” One suggestion that stood out was to tell your child, “Oh, sweetheart! Daddy was helping Mommy look for a lost quarter!” But really, where did she hide that quarter?
Most parents have pondered this scenario, though we often find ourselves, shall we say, preoccupied when the thought crosses our minds. Ideally, we’re exhausted later, reflecting on the moment again. So we tend to brush it off, thinking we’ll handle it when the time comes—perhaps with a therapist in tow.
In practical terms, we lock the door and hope for the best. But let’s face it: childhood lasts a long time, and healthy relationships often involve a good amount of intimacy. So, it’s likely this moment will arise at some point. After all, don’t most of us have a story about overhearing our parents in a similar situation?
A Tale from My Son
Allow me to share a tale from my 9-year-old son. One night, unable to sleep, he hears unusual noises emanating from our bedroom. Is someone upset? Heart racing, he quietly approaches the door and listens. More sounds follow, prompting him to knock. The noise halts, and he hears, “Yes?” “Ummm, is everything OK?” he asks nervously. “Yes, sweetheart, go back to bed. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” comes the reply.
So, how did we address this with him? Prepare yourself—we opted for honesty.
What? Yes, we came clean. Why? Because when kids hear stories from their peers about catching their parents, they often figure out the truth anyway. The fibs parents tell—about a loud phone call or a TV show—rarely fool them. Instead, these untruths might convey an unintended message: children can’t talk to their parents about everything, especially sex.
Later, I sat on the edge of my son’s bed and asked, “Remember when we talked to you about sex last year?” “Uh-huh,” he replied. “Well, that’s what we were doing.” I braced for a shocked expression or horror. Instead, he said, “Oh, but it sounded like it hurt.” My mind raced as I tried to stall. “Have you ever heard one of your brothers in a different room and couldn’t tell if he was laughing or crying?” He nodded. “It’s just like that,” I explained. “It doesn’t hurt at all; it’s just a really strong feeling.” After a brief pause, he simply replied, “Oh, OK.” And that was that.
The primary reason my husband and I chose to be honest was that we frequently encourage our kids to communicate openly and remind them, “We don’t lie in this family.” We felt it was essential to tackle tough topics head-on and provide truthful answers.
Being dishonest with those who know you best can lead to complications. You risk getting tangled in lies or your child sensing inconsistencies. If they question your story, it can lead to defensiveness and conflict, leaving both parties feeling uneasy.
So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, lock that door, keep it quiet, and consider embracing honesty if your child catches you in the act.
Will my son need therapy down the line? Probably. After all, his story concludes with, “…and then my mom wrote about it for Cervical Insemination.” So, if you see him around, let’s not bring it up, alright? Or maybe just send some funds for a good therapist!
Resources for Expanding Your Family
For those looking to expand their family, you might want to check out this informative post on our blog. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reputable kits that can make the process much more manageable. Additionally, for further insights on intrauterine insemination, Cleveland Clinic is an excellent resource.
In summary, while it’s natural to feel awkward about intimate moments being discovered by your child, embracing honesty can foster a more open and trusting relationship in the long run.
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