Dear Parents,
I owe you an apology. To the parents I worked with before I stepped into motherhood, I am truly sorry. When I sat across from you at the IEP table as a job coach and prevocational instructor, I had no idea what it truly meant to raise children. Yes, I cared for my students like they were my own, but the experience was worlds apart.
I didn’t understand that by the time you reached out to me, you were already feeling drained from the challenges of autism. My youthful enthusiasm—fresh from college and eager to make a difference—might have either sparked a chuckle or, hopefully, a glimmer of hope. Now, watching my child’s teachers who look like they’d still need to show ID for a drink, I get it. I can see why my naïve optimism may have been met with skepticism or even frustration.
I apologize for those days when I showed up to work lacking the energy to give my all. Maybe I was distracted by personal issues, annoyed with a colleague (or more likely a boss), or just battling fatigue from a late night out. In those moments of burnout when I thought, “Today, I’m just coasting,” I failed your child. After all, my role was centered around people, not just tasks. There’s no “just coasting” when it comes to working with individuals.
I regret ever rolling my eyes at my student roster and thinking, “Oh no, not them.” Each student had their own identity and story; they deserved the same respect I wished for in return. I also wish I had kept in touch with some of you because your insights would be invaluable to me now.
I’m sorry for any time I mentioned feeling tired because let’s be honest—autism fatigue is on another level entirely. I didn’t grasp the depth of your daily challenges.
And those sudden snow days or vacations? I completely understand now how they can disrupt your carefully crafted routines. I apologize if I ever cast a look of pretentious sympathy your way; what you needed was empathy, not my pity. To view your child as a mere problem to solve was entirely wrong.
Please know that I still reflect on those experiences and the lessons I wish I had embraced sooner. I hope you can forgive my past ignorance.
Sincerely,
A Grateful Educator
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In summary, my experiences in my twenties taught me the importance of empathy and understanding in the world of parenting. It’s a journey full of challenges, and I hope my reflections resonate with others navigating similar paths.