Now that I’ve settled into the suburban life, I decided to join my local MOMS Club International chapter. For a mere $25 a year, I get the privilege of being invited to picnics, story times, holiday festivities, and, of course, weekly playgroups. It’s the one gathering where it’s perfectly acceptable to whip out a bottle mid-chat—unless you’re at a bar, that is.
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My favorite part about MOMS Club? The weekly playgroups, organized by birth year. My daughter is in the 2013 group. Typically, we see around 6 or 7 moms and just as many kids—almost a dozen little tornadoes in one room! Until recently, I had managed to dodge the hosting duties. Despite my well-known guilt, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if someone got hurt? What if allergies flared up? What if no one showed up? Or worse, what if everyone did and chaos ensued?
Despite my fears, I finally agreed to host a playgroup and, believe it or not, I survived! I dare say I even succeeded. No major injuries and the carpet remained free of unexpected messes. So, for those brave souls contemplating the same, here’s my guide to Hosting a Playgroup or Managing a Toddler Rumble in 10 Easy Steps:
- Stock Up on Snacks. If they’re munching on store-bought goodies, they won’t notice the disaster zone your home has become.
- Recruit Your Partner. Get your spouse to help remove all traces of your little one: scrub the oatmeal off the highchair, wipe milk from the floor, and hide any mysterious stains.
- Brew Coffee. This will help cover up any lingering odors from the Diaper Genie that may have met its end.
- Tuck Away Stuffed Animals. These fluffy creatures, or “the snot rags” as I call them, should be hidden away to prevent any toddler meltdowns.
- Post a Clever Sign. Something like, “Moms, please join us in the basement for playgroup. Don’t mind the barking dog; she’s just having a rough day.” Or perhaps, “Want to rob my house? Come right in!”
- Greet Your Guests. Offer them cookies immediately. Maybe jokingly suggest a drink—like whiskey in a mug. Just kidding… or am I?
- Observe the Mayhem. Watch as the kids swarm the toy table. See them use a xylophone hammer not just on toys but on each other, and note the hair-pulling and snack-stealing that ensue. Just sit back and enjoy the chaos—it’s all part of the experience.
- Time to Wrap Up. When the mayhem reaches its peak, it’s time to kick everyone out.
- Rescue Your Child. Retrieve your dazed little one from a mountain of toys. As you settle them down for a nap, you might wonder: Why are they sticky? Where did that missing clump of hair go? And is that a tooth in their hand?
- Dispose of Toys. Gather all the toys in the backyard, douse them in disinfectant, and bid them farewell (figuratively, of course).
And there you have it! If you followed these steps, congratulations—you’ve either hosted a delightful playgroup or managed a toddler fight club! Just brace yourself for potential flu, pink eye, or even fleas in the next few days.
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In summary, hosting a playgroup is a wild ride filled with snacks, chaos, and laughter. Follow these steps and you’ll not only survive but thrive in your newfound role, all while keeping things fun and engaging for both the kids and the moms.