Updated: June 18, 2014
Originally Published: November 1, 2011
There’s a fascinating trend among modern parents: they continue attending concerts featuring their favorite bands from their pre-kid days, bringing their little ones along for the ride. This family concert craze is part of a broader cultural shift where parents refuse to miss out on the fun just because they can’t find a sitter. Think family-friendly bars with “Family Tables” and cinemas hosting Baby Nights. To fully embrace these experiences, one must engage in a bit of optimistic thinking—much like the hardcore punk fans of the ’70s who might have thought, “If I just close my eyes and pretend hard enough, I can forget about the diaper changes between sets.”
When I shared this trend with my friend Fiona, a lively woman in her sixties with grown kids, she exclaimed, “Oh dear! That’s one kind of togetherness we could do without.”
I, however, wholeheartedly believe in the right of parents to carve out a night for themselves, making concert-going seem like a special, almost magical, experience for their children. Just like earning a driver’s license or having a legal drink, it can be a rite of passage to point to and say, “You’re not there yet. But if you finish those green beans and ace your spelling test, someday it’ll be your turn!”
There’s definitely merit to the ambient method of music appreciation. Parents can play their favorite tunes at home, allowing their kids to soak it all in without any pressure. I wish I had a dollar for every musician who reflects, “My parents always played a lot of Bob Dylan when I was growing up, which might explain why I write songs in that style.” Good music is akin to good nutrition—accessible to kids, but ultimately their choice to embrace it.
In fact, I worry that if you try to saddle your child with your music preferences too tightly, they may rebel even harder. The risk is even greater if your taste is particularly refined. During those inevitable teenage years when kids strive to establish their own identities, isn’t a child who’s been force-fed The Beatles and classic hip-hop likely to find solace in the pop embrace of artists like Dua Lipa?
When my daughter, Lily, was in fifth grade, a band she loved, The Lumineers, played at a renowned venue in town. Lily expressed her desire to join me, and I agreed—not only because I’d heard her humming their songs while doing her homework, but also so she could answer, “The first concert I attended was…” with a cool story.
And let’s be honest—I was also hoping that having my pint-sized concert buddy might catch the band’s attention. When you’re beyond the days of tossing fancy undergarments on stage and instead buying multipacks from the local warehouse store, you have to find new ways to feel young and adventurous.
On a surprisingly warm spring evening, we ventured across the bridge to the venue, excited to wait in line for general admission. Standing at just under 5 feet tall, Lily was concerned about being overwhelmed by the crowd. Having been to plenty of shows, I reassured her that The Lumineers’ fans are typically a bit older and more laid-back—many even sported comfy shoes and eco-friendly tote bags. Our predictions were spot-on; as we approached the line, fans greeted Lily with smiles and even a high-five or two.
Here’s what unfolded during Lily’s inaugural concert experience:
While waiting for the opening act, we struck up conversations with those around us, standing a few bodies back from the security barriers. A lovely couple, both fifth-grade teachers, spotted one of their students in the audience and invited Lily to join them at the front for a better view.
Not long after, a friendly security guard approached me and asked, “Would she like to sit down during the show?” He fetched a cushioned chair and placed it just in front of the barrier. As soon as the lights dimmed and The Lumineers took the stage, Lily happily donned her bright pink earplugs, navigated the barrier, and settled into her new seat just three feet from the band.
Midway through the concert, as the warmth of the crowd enveloped us, the same guard reached up to grab a water bottle from the stage and handed it to Lily. Even while performing a challenging song, the guitarist managed to wink at her as she enjoyed the refreshment.
As the show neared its end, our security friend encouraged us to stick around and disappeared into the crowd. When he returned, he handed Lily a rolled-up concert poster, exclaiming, “We’re not supposed to give these out!”
As we reluctantly departed amid the encore (it was a school night, after all), an older gentleman with a backstage pass stopped us. “Here you go, kid,” he said, placing a backstage pass in Lily’s hands. “For you to keep!”
That’s the one danger of introducing your child too closely to your musical tastes—the risk that one day, they might live out all your rock star fantasies.
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In summary, bringing children to concerts can be a delightful experience, blending nostalgia with new memories. While parents can share their musical passions, it’s crucial to allow kids to develop their own tastes without pressure. After all, the concert experience can create lasting bonds and unforgettable stories.