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Parenting
How Long Has It Been Since Those Three Years?
by Emily Carter
Updated: Aug. 13, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 7, 2011
Today marks three years since I lost my mom, and it’s become a tradition for me to reflect on the passage of time on this anniversary. While most people might let days slip by unnoticed, mothers have a unique knack for recognizing how quickly time flies.
It hits us when we glance at our eighth graders and suddenly notice those hairy legs. Even though we’ve seen them countless times, that moment of realization can make our hearts skip a beat. Then there are those tenth graders, sporting sideburns and facial hair, leaving us wondering when that transformation even began. One minute they’re kids, and the next, they’re practically adults. When did that happen?
And as summer days start to shorten, moms feel the weight of time again when our college kids start gathering their things to return to school. Already? It feels like just yesterday they were zipping around, living life to the fullest, and now they’re off again.
We also become acutely aware of time when our oldest kids, who are just transitioning into adulthood, begin to carve their own paths. Watching them make mistakes—and learn from them—somehow makes time feel like it’s standing still (cue the nervous laughter from parents with young adults).
This past weekend, a large group of friends and I took a ferry to Provincetown to soak up the sun (and maybe enjoy a drink or two). It was a beautiful day, yet I couldn’t shake a twinge of sadness because I realized that the last time we all gathered for such fun was exactly three years ago. I remember it well as it was the only joyful day I had that summer before I fell into the dark spiral of my mom’s battle with cancer.
I used to call her every weekend to catch up, sharing stories about the kids’ games, my latest sales, or any wild antics with my friends. She’d always pause her Law and Order marathon, happy to listen to my updates about her beloved grandkids. But after that last ferry trip, when I called her, she was too weak to engage in our usual banter. I hung up in tears, knowing that our special conversations were slipping away. Just days later, I was back in New York with her, not leaving until her painful journey ended just weeks after that.
It’s been 156 weeks since then, and yet my awareness of time still surprises me. Today, my family dynamic is completely different from three years ago. Now, it’s a bustling household full of teenagers and young adults, which can feel a bit lonely at times. But don’t get me wrong; it’s not a sad place—far from it! It’s filled with laughter (often hilarious) and the typical chaos of a family of six. As Dorothy Gale wisely observed, “People come and go so quickly around here.” With everyone busy with work, college, and social commitments, family dinners have become a rare occurrence, and it often feels like I’m home alone.
This constant bustle can make me feel a little lonely when I reflect on how fleeting time can be. It’s made me appreciate those car rides, the conversations, and even the blank calendar days. It’s also given me a mischievous thrill to cook bacon just to rouse my teenage boys from their weekend slumber. And, without a doubt, it reminds me to cherish those small moments.
So, if I happen to receive a call from one of my loved ones, I promise I’ll turn down whatever’s on TV and tune in, just like my mom always did.
This article originally appeared on Sep. 7, 2011. You can explore more about the journey of parenthood at Home Insemination Kit. For those looking to boost their fertility, Make a Mom offers fantastic insights. And for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Healthline.
In summary, three years can feel like a lifetime, especially when you’re a mom reflecting on the fleeting nature of time. The dynamics of family life shift, and while it can feel lonely, it also brings moments of joy and connection that are worth cherishing.