I recently found myself on the hunt for new jeans after shedding 15 pounds. While feeling a bit peckish and irritable, I stumbled upon your brand, Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, known for catering to women over 40. Now, at 45, I may not have a background in psychology or marketing, but I can confidently say: women do not want to be reminded that they can’t squeeze into their daughters’ jeans! Why must you bring that up?
We don’t desire our daughters’ tiny busts.
We don’t want their scoliosis braces.
We’re not into their creepy band directors.
We have zero interest in their black liquid eyeliner.
And we certainly don’t want their minimum wage gig at Taco Town.
However, let me tell you, as someone sporting an over-40, dimpled backside, we would love to wear our daughters’ jeans! Or, at the very least, we want the illusion that we’re rocking them, not some high-waisted, Lycra-infused monstrosity. (Did I mention I was cranky?) Honestly, if a friend asked me what jeans I was wearing while in Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, I wouldn’t proclaim, “Oh, they’re Not My Daughter’s Jeans!”
At 45, I want jeans that scream: “You bet I bought these in the junior section, and they fit fabulously—F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S-L-Y!” I want jeans that a guy can unbutton easily, not with the help of a crowbar. I want jeans with pockets deep enough for a guy to slip his hand in, not those minuscule pockets barely big enough for a phone number and a coupon for Oil of Olay.
Here’s a fun fact, Mr. Thompson: women over 40 still feel youthful and sexy. Take a cue from Lucky Brand, which includes a tag in the fly saying, “Lucky You”—a delightful message for the lucky guy doing the unzipping. Meanwhile, I can only imagine your jeans come with a tag that reads: “Dry clean only. Hang on a pink satin hanger. Store in a climate-controlled environment.”
Interestingly, your company includes a note with every pair of jeans that claims: “NYDJ cannot be held responsible for any positive consequences that may arise from your stunning appearance in Tummy Tuck jeans. You can thank me later.” I think you might be a bit off the mark. What positive outcomes could possibly result from wearing jeans with so much Lycra they double as support stockings? Hmmm…
- Getting asked out by the retired guy who bags my groceries?
- Having a Walgreens employee suggest I check out the incontinence aisle?
- Being mistakenly offered a senior discount at the movies?
- Wearing them for days since nobody seems interested in getting them off me?
Mr. Jean King, I know it’s a bit late to rename your brand, but have you considered names like Hot at Forty Jeans, MILF Jeans, or Not Your Mom’s Jeans? If you had a denim brand for men over 40, would you dare call them My Fat Pants or Not Even Close to What I Used to Be? Or maybe, to highlight all that Lycra lift, Rise and Shiners?
Just a thought.
Sincerely,
Jessica Hartman
P.S. If you’re curious about other ways to navigate parenting and possibly even home insemination, check out this helpful resource. And while you’re at it, you might want to explore this article, which has some great insights. For more information on pregnancy options, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary: This humorous letter to a denim brand’s CEO critiques their branding while expressing the desire for jeans that cater to women over 40. The writer emphasizes that women want to feel youthful and attractive, rather than reminded of their age. The letter also suggests alternative branding names and highlights the importance of considering how women perceive themselves in clothing.