Before I became a mom, I had this whimsical vision of dyeing Easter eggs with my future kiddos—dressed in crisp white clothes, delicately dipping farm-fresh eggs in natural dyes (I might have even envisioned a little chicken coop in the backyard). Fast forward to now, and I totally get why my own mother opted for plastic eggs; whoever invented egg dyeing clearly never had kids!
If you’re planning on dyeing eggs this Easter, take it from someone who’s been through the chaotic experience: do it outdoors! Ideally, find an open field far away from civilization. Make sure everyone is in their birthday suits (just kidding… sort of) and have a stash of paper towels and maybe even some calming tea on standby. Expect that most of your eggs will be cracked, none will look like the beautiful ones on Pinterest, and instead of lovely pastels, you’ll likely end up with murky shades of grey.
Why? Because kids see egg dyeing in a completely different light. Here’s what your little ones might be thinking during the process:
- First things first—eggs make awesome projectiles!
- If this dye is pretty on eggs, imagine how gorgeous it would look on my hair, my clothes, the walls, and oh, Mommy’s new dining chairs. Our home will be a masterpiece of pink and purple handprints!
- Yuck, Mommy! These eggs smell like farts! gag, cough, gag
- Wait, the last light blue egg I saw had chocolate inside it. I need to see if there’s chocolate here! MOM! WHERE’S THE CHOCOLATE? WAAAHHH!
- Can I smash this on my brother’s head? Like, really hard?
- So red and yellow make orange. But what do red, yellow, green, blue, pink, and purple make? My eggs look like Halloween decorations! The world is ending! My eggs are ugly!
- I detest hardboiled eggs! Mommy, the Easter Bunny better not bring me these nasty things! I’ve been good! (Cue the tears.)
- Wow, these colors look delicious! I bet the red one tastes like cherry. tries it ACCCKKKK! It tastes like vinegar! I’m gonna be sick! GET THIS OUT OF MY MOUTH!
- Eighteen eggs and six cups of dye equal… three minutes of fun. Now what? Can I have the iPad? Watching YouTube videos of toy unboxings sounds way more exciting than eggs.
- Jumping in muddy puddles is fun, but splashing in rainbow, muddy puddles inside would be epic! I can’t contain my happiness! Let’s pour all this colorful dye on the kitchen floor and stomp around. This is the best day ever!
Happy Easter, everyone! If you’re curious about other parenting adventures, check out this post for more insights.
In summary, dyeing Easter eggs with kids is a mix of chaos and creativity, where expectations often fall short of reality, but the laughs and memories are priceless. Just remember to keep it outdoors and stay prepared for the inevitable mess!