Ah, the last day of a Disney vacation—the moment when you should be soaking in every last bit of magic. Instead, why not completely derail it? Here’s a cheeky guide on how to ensure that your departure is as chaotic as possible.
- Ignore Mom’s Fashion Choices: When it’s time to get dressed, don’t settle for the first outfit Mom picks. She packed those extras for a reason—she wants to see you model them all! Rummage through the suitcase and leave a whirlwind of clothes in your wake. Mom thrives on that chaos.
- Skip Breakfast: Why bother with the snacks in your hotel room? Instead, wait until you’re out and about to request the most bizarre breakfast you can think of. Be adventurous! Who needs a solid start to the day anyway?
- Timing Is Everything: If the bus to Downtown Disney is running late, wait until you spot it before announcing your urgent need for a bathroom break. It’s a perfect opportunity for Mom to channel her inner athlete.
- Claim Your Independence on the Bus: This is your moment! Fight for the right to sit as far from your parents as possible. Four rows away? Perfect. It’s time to make new friends, and they can’t keep an eye on you from that distance!
- Refuse the Stroller: Never, under any circumstances, willingly get into that stroller. It’s just a cumbersome contraption your dad hauls around for his own enjoyment. Resist it with all your might!
- Lunch Strategy: Only take a few bites of your lunch. Your parents have stashed away way better snacks for the flight, and you’ll want to save room for them.
- Express Your Desire to Stay: When it’s time to head to the airport, make sure to vocalize how much you want to remain at Disney. A dramatic tantrum will only emphasize your love for the vacation.
- Airport Shenanigans: Airports are playgrounds! Keep your parents on their toes by sticking close during check-in, but as soon as they check the stroller, make a break for it. Security will find it adorable!
- Unleash Your Thoughts: While waiting in line for security, let your grievances fly. Now is the time to express everything on your mind. If Dad tries to carry you onto the plane, dramatically protest with “Let go! You’re not my parents!”
- Establish Your Territory: Once on board the plane, make it clear that you don’t want to share your space. No touching, no sharing toys. If younger siblings get too close, alert your parents loudly. Remember that time you encouraged your sister on the ride and she got hurt? Remind everyone about it for good measure.
- Drink Discrepancies: When the flight attendant brings you what you ordered, make a scene if it’s not what you expected. Stiff-arm the drink and kick the seat in front of you until she gets it right.
- Bathroom Adventures: Drink as much as you can—those tiny airplane restrooms are an experience worth exploring. It’s like peeing in a closet!
- Fart Questions: Don’t hold back on asking your mom if she farted. Repeat it for maximum effect.
- Celebrate Mischief: High-five your siblings for any antics, like spilling a drink on Mom. It’s a win-win—she gets a surprise shower without the calories!
- The Perfect Exit: Just before landing, coordinate with your siblings to check out and fall asleep on your parents. The ensuing circus act as they gather belongings without waking you is pure entertainment for everyone else on the plane.
Bonus points: Ensure that you create some chaos at home too—perhaps by having a little accident in bed!
For more fun and parenting tips, check out our other blog post on how to navigate family trips. If you’re interested in at-home insemination, Cryobaby offers kits that are highly recommended. And for additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, IVF Babble is a great source.
Summary
The last day of a Disney vacation is the perfect opportunity to unleash chaos. From wardrobe battles and breakfast skips to dramatic displays and airport antics, these tips will ensure a memorable and over-the-top send-off.
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