“Mom, I asked Dad about how babies are made, but he said you’d be mad if he told me,” my nine-year-old daughter stated with serious conviction the other evening.
I honestly had no clue where to even begin with that one. (For the record, I might have considered doing just about anything to avoid this talk.) “Well, for starters, I wouldn’t have been mad at him…” I replied, trying to keep my composure.
I wasn’t trying to dodge the topic. Sure, I’d been a bit anxious about it (is that a bad thing?), but I certainly wasn’t going to shy away. After all, my kids frequently tell me I’m the “coolest mom ever” and that they “can talk to me about anything.” I figured I could say the words penis and vagina without cracking up—I hoped.
Starting the Conversation
“What do you already know about how babies are made?” I inquired, bracing myself for whatever playground myths I might have to correct.
“I know there’s a mommy seed and a daddy seed, but I really don’t understand how they make a baby,” she confessed, looking quite disheartened.
I wrapped my arms around her. “Okay, here’s the deal: The mommy seed lives in her tummy, and the daddy seed lives… well, inside him. When they decide they want to have a baby, the daddy plants his seed in the mommy, and that’s how a baby is made.”
Self-talk: Nailed it!
She looked a little puzzled. “But how does the daddy seed GET to the mommy seed?”
“Oh. That.” You can do this. Just say it. “The penis.”
Her expression turned to horror. “What about the penis?”
“His seed comes out of his penis.”
“And goes where?”
Self-talk: You survived this conversation once before, and it didn’t traumatize you. She can handle the truth. “The daddy puts his penis inside the mommy’s vagina so the two seeds can join together.”
Her face was a mix of disbelief and disgust. “But… why?”
“That’s just how it works,” I replied. “It’s a bit of a strange system when you think about it, right?”
She nodded like a bobblehead on caffeine.
Addressing Concerns
“How long does the penis have to stay in there?” she asked, concern creeping into her voice.
“Not for very long,” I assured her, sensing her anxiety. “And you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”
She didn’t ask if it hurt, nor did she seem to grasp that her dad and I had obviously gone through this process at least a couple of times. She didn’t even wonder what would happen if the penis accidentally slipped in when the intention was not to make a baby.
All things considered, I’d say it was a pretty successful discussion. One point for mom!
Further Resources
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Kindbody Blog. And if you’re curious about home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom for more information. As always, our privacy policy can be found here: Privacy Policy.
Conclusion
In summary, having the “talk” with kids can be daunting, but approaching it with honesty and simplicity can make it manageable. It’s all about creating an open dialogue where they feel safe asking questions—no matter how uncomfortable the topic might be.