I just met you today on our stroll through town, and honestly, I’m not quite sure I said all the right things. I tried, but I felt like I could’ve done better.
You see, our day was a bit off-kilter. I had consumed way too much caffeine, and my heart was racing like it was training for a marathon. Not my proudest moment, but hey, sleep has been elusive lately (thanks to my little one, but I can’t blame her entirely; I’m just not a great sleeper). We missed our usual morning walk because the baby took her nap, so instead, we embarked on an afternoon adventure to the candy store, making stops along the way to chat or let my older son pet someone’s dog. If we had stuck to our routine, we wouldn’t have crossed paths, so I’m grateful for the change.
Just as we were nearing home, I felt someone behind us. I turned around and spotted your bright orange double stroller. A little embarrassed for staring, I waved and kept walking. But then I decided to stop and called out, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to gawk. Just curious about who was behind me!” As you approached, I took a sip of my coffee and noticed your two little ones—one peacefully asleep and the other awake, his striking blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight.
We exchanged small talk about our kids—your twins, my one-year-old daughter, and my six-year-old son. I could sense the challenges you were facing with your newborns and felt a pang of nostalgia for those early days. They can be so tough, can’t they?
When I asked how you were doing, you mentioned that your walk was your therapy for the day. I wish I had shared that every single one of my walks is my therapy. Instead, you opened up about your struggles with breastfeeding and how you’d recently stopped nursing your twins. I noticed you fighting back tears as you tucked your hair behind your ear. You poured out your feelings about the difficulties, and I listened intently, trying to convey with my expression that you didn’t owe me any explanations. Maybe you felt the need to explain for your own sake, and I was more than happy to be your sounding board. I told you I understood and reassured you that while it might not feel okay now, it truly would be. “Time heals, and this will all settle down,” I said. But I left feeling like I could’ve offered you more, so here’s what I wish I had said:
Hey, let’s be real: parenting is tough.
Like, really tough. No one prepares you for the deep love that can also make you feel like you’re about to snap at any moment. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I’ve been there, and while the challenges haven’t disappeared, I’m learning to embrace the wild ride of having my heart walking around outside of my chest in these wonderful little people I’ve created.
You’ve fed your babies, and that’s what matters most. I know you’re disappointed about stopping breastfeeding, but remember: they are healthy and thriving because of you. I still vividly recall when my son weaned himself; I was blindsided by sadness. After all that time, I had my body to myself again, but it felt empty. It’s a tough adjustment, but I promise it gets better.
Please don’t carry guilt. Or, if you do, try to shake it off. Mom guilt is a real thing, and we’ve all been there. I feel it daily over something I said or didn’t say. Let’s be each other’s support in this, okay?
Yes, it’s hard now, but there’s so much joy ahead. You’re in the thick of it with sleepless nights and feeding issues, but trust me, the rewards are immense. I saw the way you looked at my son as he helped my daughter down the sidewalk, marveling at her cute little smile. The joy my kids bring me (even when they’re driving me bonkers) is indescribable. I’m so grateful to be their mom.
Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing your best, and while that may feel like it’s not enough some days, it truly is. Keep taking those walks; the fresh air is like a balm for the soul. I won’t tell you to nap when the babies do because I hated hearing that advice. Just find little ways to care for yourself, however you can.
And lastly, let’s keep walking together. I might be fueled by a lot of coffee, chocolate, and unfiltered language, but those walks are my therapy too. If you’re interested in more insights into navigating motherhood, check out this article on home insemination for some great tips.
In summary, motherhood is a challenging yet rewarding journey filled with ups and downs. Embrace the tough moments, lean on each other for support, and remember to find joy in the little things.