Back in the ’70s, my mom decided to test a theory with me and my older brother. She handed me trucks and him dolls, convinced that our preferences were shaped by society. She firmly believed that our choices had nothing to do with our innate tendencies. Spoiler alert: she was mistaken. I was all about the “girl” toys, while my brother swiftly reclaimed his trucks with an eye-roll that could rival any teenage drama.
Fast forward to today, and while we’ve learned so much about gender and childhood, not much has changed. My 5-year-old daughter recently announced that she’s not interested in toys she believes are “for boys.” And I totally get where she’s coming from! “Girl” toys are still often draped in pink and covered in sparkles, while “boy” toys flaunt darker, more industrial colors. Every day, she’s bombarded with messages pushing her towards traditional “girl” choices. Seriously, why are we still stuck in this outdated thinking?
As a parent, I want my children to have the freedom to explore their interests without the confines of gender stereotypes—especially my daughter. Here are five suggestions to help her embrace a world beyond the typical girlie stuff:
- Watch Sports Together: It’s easy to assume that only boys are into sports, especially if Mom isn’t a fan (guilty!). Recently, while watching the U.S. Women’s National Team win the World Cup, my daughter excitedly asked, “Are they all girls?” I encourage my partner to share the excitement of the game with her just like he does with our son. Sure, her vocabulary might include a few colorful words, but hey, it’s all part of the fun!
- Choose Gender-Neutral Clothing: Skip the frills, pinks, and sparkles when shopping for clothes. Brands like Primary offer stylish options that don’t scream “society has defined my gender.” And the best part? Everything is under $25—who doesn’t love a good deal?
- Get Into Coding: It’s 2023; we need more girls in tech! Organizations like Girls Who Code and local coding camps are fantastic resources. We don’t want a future filled with just Barbie apps—let’s get our girls coding!
- Foster Cross-Gender Friendships: Encourage friendships that cross gender lines. My son has a best friend who’s a girl; they met when they were little and have maintained their connection ever since. We make an effort to organize outings that allow them to spend quality time together outside of school’s gender divisions.
- Introduce Diverse Reading Material: Hand your girls a variety of books—think Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, and Tintin, along with graphic novels. Just because a book cover features cupcakes and lip gloss doesn’t mean it’s off-limits! For older girls, remind them that reading about boys can be a great way to understand them better.
This article was originally published on July 7, 2010. If you want to learn more about parenting and home insemination, check out our other posts here.
In summary, let’s encourage our daughters to explore their interests freely and push against the traditional molds of girlhood. With a little effort, we can help them see that the world is filled with options—princesses are great, but so are adventures, sports, and coding!