When my partner and I used to vacation with our in-laws before we had kids, it was all about shared dinners and independent adventures. But once our little ones arrived, those family getaways transformed into chaotic, close-quarters bonding—let’s just say it was a bit like a clown car! After several years and more kids, we’ve cracked the code on surviving in-law vacations. Here are some tips to help you breeze through them.
1. Remember the vacation mantra
What happens on vacation, stays on vacation. So, if you find yourself awkwardly trying to discreetly breastfeed while surrounded by your partner’s entire family, rest assured that it won’t resurface at the next family gathering—at least not in a way that will haunt you!
2. Establish clear roles
Typically, the grandparents will have their fun, while the parents tackle the more demanding tasks (yes, including diaper duty). Once everyone acknowledges this division of labor, the vacation vibes will improve significantly.
3. Understand that “helping out” means different things
My idea of a helping hand was getting a moment on the beach, while my mother-in-law thought it meant introducing ice cream to my four-month-old during dinner. Now, I communicate my needs more clearly!
4. Don’t hesitate to make a quick exit
I can’t believe it took me so long to realize my child could survive without me for a few hours. The best strategy? Drop the baby into their arms with a casual “you got this!” and make a dash for it!
5. Don’t assume that older folks and kids will adhere to the same schedule
Aren’t retirees supposed to be on early bird specials? My family obviously missed that memo! But on the bright side, those early morning toddler wake-ups come with the added benefit of in-laws who will entertain them after bedtime—hello, romantic beach strolls!
6. Avoid letting your in-laws plan the accommodations
Trust me, my in-laws booked a condo with only twin beds, including ours! With two kids and a mother-in-law still acting oblivious to our romantic life, it’s a recipe for awkwardness.
7. Stop labeling it as a vacation
Call it a trip, a visit, or anything else that doesn’t carry the weight of expectations. This mental shift can do wonders for your psyche, making you feel like the real vacation is still ahead of you.
8. Plan a getaway after the family trip
I used to come back from family vacations feeling like I needed a break, and now I schedule one ahead of time. This year, I cleverly used “I need to get back to work” to escape five days early. Five days of blissful solitude in the office will be the perfect antidote after ten days with the in-laws.
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In summary, vacations with in-laws can be challenging, but with a few strategies in place, you can survive and even enjoy the experience!