Last summer, I proposed an ambitious adventure to my husband: cramming our five kids into the car for a two-hour journey to the tip of Cape Cod, only to make a U-turn and return for another two hours. What was I thinking? A four-hour road trip with kids is basically a recipe for chaos. Even a short drive can feel like an eternity when you’re surrounded by little ones. Here are a few reasons why these trips can be more of a test than a treat:
1. Getting into the Car
You’d think getting everyone into the car would be easy, right? Wrong. I’ve spent all day encouraging them to play outside, but as we scramble to leave, they suddenly act as if the yard is the most exciting place on Earth. It’s like they’ve discovered the wonders of the “outdoors” at the last possible minute!
2. Seatbelt Shenanigans
You’d be surprised how many of my kids act like wearing a seatbelt is a new concept. “Wait, where’s my seatbelt?” they say, as if I just invented it. Hello? It’s the safety device that’s been in the car since forever, meant to keep you safe while I’m navigating the road and dealing with the delightful chaos in the backseat. So, please—put it on!
3. Radio Ruckus
Don’t even get me started on the music in the car. I’ll be enjoying a catchy Taylor Swift song when suddenly the kids decide they need to strategize who sings which part. “Mom, turn down the radio!” they shout, and by the time they’ve figured it out, the song is over. Sorry kiddos, but this isn’t a music video—it’s just good old-fashioned radio, which can’t be rewound.
4. “Are We There Yet?”
This classic line is uttered before we’ve even left the neighborhood. Seriously, can we at least make it to the end of the street? The barrage of questions continues until I’m forced to threaten the consequences of their incessant chirping. It’s like they think it’s a game!
5. Backseat Navigation
My kids, who are still years away from driving, have already taken on the role of backseat drivers. “Mom, you’re going the wrong way!” “Why aren’t we on the highway?” “What’s that speed limit?” Honestly, you’d think I’m the one who needs a lesson in driving, not them!
6. Drive-Thru Distractions
Ordering at the drive-thru can be an Olympic event when the kids begin to remind me repeatedly about their food preferences. “No pickles!” they shout while I’m trying to place the order. Their enthusiasm for shouting out requests often results in them receiving the exact opposite of what they wanted. And if someone thinks it’s funny to yell out for a Big Mac while I’m at Dunkin’ Donuts? Well, let’s just say laughter is not my response.
7. Getting Out of the Car
You’d think once we arrive at our destination, the kids would bolt out of the car. But no, they’d rather lounge in their seats as if they’re in a cozy movie theater. After all that complaining about being stuck, you’d expect them to leap out as if the car were on fire!
And that’s just scratching the surface! I’m not even diving into the mess, the disputes, or the inevitable “I think I’m gonna be sick” moments. Until someone invents a car with a soundproof barrier between the driver and the backseat, I’m officially declaring all family road trips are on hold!
For more relatable experiences, check out our post on Murphy’s Laws of Traveling With Kids. And if you’re looking for guidance on pregnancy topics, visit Progyny—a valuable resource for all things baby-related.
Summary: Family road trips, while adventurous, can be a real test of patience and sanity. From the struggle to get everyone in the car to the constant barrage of questions and distractions, these journeys can feel like a never-ending cycle of chaos. But amidst the challenges, there’s always a silver lining—laughter and memories in the making.