Remember the pre-mommy days of Valentine’s Day? No? Allow me to jog your memory of how it’s changed over the years…
Then:
The day before Valentine’s Day was all about pampering yourself. A bikini wax? Check. Flirty undies? You bet! Ingredients for a romantic dessert? Absolutely!
Now:
The day before Valentine’s Day involves cleaning up after a scooter mishap (blood and gore, anyone?), wiping snot off your shirt, and racing to the store for gauze and medical tape. Ah, the joys of parenthood!
Then:
You’d spend the night before Valentine’s Day ordering that delicious Thai takeout, indulging in a warm bubble bath, painting your toenails, sipping on some wine, and snuggling with your spouse. Sounds dreamy, right?
Now:
The night before is more like devouring pizza on the couch while watching reruns of Hawaii 5-0. You’re also trying to juggle two lively kids on your lap, making room for the cat who insists on joining the chaos.
Then:
Picture Valentine’s Day morning: a delightful surprise breakfast in bed! (Menu: champagne, orange juice, and a naked partner. Yes, please!)
Now:
Valentine’s Day morning brings its own “surprise!” but it’s not quite what you imagined. The little one managed to spill everything yesterday, leaving you with an apple, some orange juice, and toast that’s somehow turned into a huge mess. Good luck trying to eat while two energetic kiddos bounce around on the bed. Time to strip the sheets and start the laundry!
Then:
A perfect Valentine’s Day gift would be a luxurious box of Godiva chocolates, savored over an entire week, with a thoughtful, mushy card to boot.
Now:
Fast forward to this year’s gift: a box of truffles from Target, which you’ll devour in just three hours (and not a single piece will be yours). And that card? Well, it’s definitely… something.
Then:
Valentine’s Night was all about fine dining at a chic restaurant, sipping champagne, and enjoying epic romance before drifting off in your spouse’s arms, feeling cozy and grateful.
Now:
Valentine’s Night has transformed into a dinner of frozen potstickers, a glass of champagne, and a TiVo’d episode of American Idol. Don’t forget to take out the trash, clean the hamster cage, and break up any sibling fistfights before blood is drawn. You’ll likely lurch into bed two hours before your spouse, feeling completely wiped out.
At least the champagne remains a constant, right? And those sloppy kisses and handmade cards from the kids make it all worthwhile… even if the little one’s drawing skills are a bit suspect!
Children: 2. Valentine’s Day: 0.
If you’re interested in more parenting tips and entertaining chaos, check out our other posts, like this one on intracervical insemination. For a deeper dive into the world of home insemination, Make a Mom has some great resources, alongside Progyny for all things pregnancy-related.
In summary, Valentine’s Day has morphed from a romantic escape into a delightful circus, where love is measured in the chaos of family life.