Parenting
Let’s be real—kids are a financial black hole. They’re not just a little pricey, like “Oh, that took more out of my wallet than I thought!” No, they’re more like, “Wow, this expense is totally derailing my plans! Maybe I should just return it!” or “If I sold this, I could probably retire early!” kind of expensive.
They make you second-guess your life choices, like, “What would my life look like if I hadn’t had kids? I’d probably own a yacht!” or “Without kids, I’d be rolling in cash, like Scrooge McDuck!”
Honestly, if I didn’t have my two little ones, I’d be perfectly content living in my parents’ shed, quietly hoarding my DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) fortune and plotting my future film career about ferrets on wild adventures. But, alas, I have children who need real things: food, shelter, clothes, healthcare, and education. By the time we’ve checked everything off their list, there’s rarely anything left for us. And let’s face it: the financial demands don’t stop when they become adults. Even in my afterlife, I can picture my kids rummaging through my pockets looking for spare change.
That’s why I believe in saving a little something for myself. I work hard for my cash, and I’m going to spend it as I see fit—after ensuring my son has his allergy meds and that special fruit snack he loves. But once that’s sorted, the spare change? It’s mine, all mine!
Here are 13 things I will never feel guilty about splurging on because, let’s face it, I’ve earned it:
- Beer: Why should I feel bad about this? It’s the kids driving me to drink!
- Bourbon: Same reason, folks!
- Wine: I rest my case.
- Vodka: This one’s for my wife!
- Shake Shack: Because who can resist burgers?
- Beer at Shake Shack: I may have a tiny problem.
- Movie Tickets: This one’s a no-go because I refuse to fund the babysitting mafia!
- Concert Tickets: Same babysitter issue applies here! #NEVERBABYSITTER
- Pizza: Honestly, I worry more about our pizza habit than our drinking habit, but not enough to feel guilty.
- Books: Wait… what?
- Library Late Fees: This might be more accurate.
- Music: Necessary for sanity, especially with young children around!
- Babysitters: Sometimes a night out is just what I need!
There’s already too much to feel guilty about in parenting. Holding onto a bit of cash for the little joys in life? That’s definitely not one of them. I save my guilt for the real dilemmas, like paying for a gym membership I never use or renting movies starring that guy with the curly hair, you know who I mean.
For more insights on navigating parenthood and everything that comes with it, check out this post.
Summary: Being a parent comes with its fair share of financial stress, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat yourself now and then. Whether it’s a nice drink, a delicious meal, or a fun night out, it’s important to reserve some cash for the small pleasures in life. After all, you’ve earned it!