As a kid, my siblings and I were masters of whining (some of us still practice today). We begged, we stomped our feet, and occasionally, we even pushed our luck with our mom. So what does a weary single mom say to her energetic kids when a firm but loving reminder is needed? Turns out, it’s often the same phrases my own mother used. I hear her voice echoing from my own lips!
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“I’m counting to three…”
Whenever my brother, sister, and I got into our classic squabbles over toys or ignored her calls to come inside when it got dark, we’d hear the dreaded countdown: “One! … Two!” The suspense was enough to send us scrambling to obey before we ever heard “three.” Now, when my girls test my patience, I sometimes find myself saying “Two-and-a-half! … Two-and-three-quarters!” and think, “Uh-oh, what will I do if they actually let me get there?” So far, I’ve avoided that disaster!
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“Who told you life was fair?”
In a hilarious episode of my favorite show, comedian Max Hart, playing a fictional version of himself, tells his daughter that life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. She won’t always get the same things as her sibling, and she better accept it. I thought about reaching out to his fan site, wondering if he had borrowed this wisdom directly from my mother!
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“Are your legs broken?”
Kids can be remarkably lethargic, especially when it’s time to: a) set the table for dinner, b) fetch my handbag, c) walk the dog, or d) clear away the dishes. If they didn’t respond quickly enough, my mother would quip this classic line, which always felt like a not-so-subtle threat of what was to come if we didn’t get moving.
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“This isn’t a democracy; it’s a dictatorship.”
When it came to household decisions, there were no votes, no debates, and no room for discussion. It was a clear message: what Mom said, went!
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“Don’t make me get the wooden spoon.”
While my mom often brandished a wooden spoon like a chef on a mission, I can proudly say we never felt its sting. But we certainly imagined what that would entail, and it kept us in line! I’ve swapped this out for a modern twist: “Don’t make me take away your device.” We all know that’s the real punishment, right?
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“What does the word ‘no’ mean to you?”
No means no. Variations of this phrase, including “Exactly what part of ‘no’ do you not understand?” helped establish clear boundaries during my childhood. It also instilled a healthy dose of sarcasm, which I’m happy to see I’ve passed down to my daughters.
This nostalgic trip down memory lane is not just about the lessons learned but also about the humor that binds generations together. Check out some of our other blog posts for more parenting wisdom, including information on home insemination and fertility resources.
In summary, my mother’s quips have become timeless tools in my parenting toolkit. From counting to three to reminding my kids about life’s unfairness, these phrases manage to keep a little humor alive while ensuring respect and responsibility in our household.