I must admit, I’m not a fan of sharing birth stories. Whenever these conversations arise, it takes a turn for the bizarre.
“My contractions were excruciating, but the medication was fantastic. The pushing was a struggle, but then — poof! — a baby appeared. That’s about it.”
And honestly, that’s my takeaway. Birth was a necessary medical event that ended with a tiny human emerging from my body.
The baby is here! Hooray! Now, let’s move on.
Don’t misunderstand me; I recognize that childbirth is a significant milestone. It blessed me with two amazing kids, so of course, I have a deep appreciation for it. Before birth, I was not a mother. After birth, I was. So yes, birth is wonderful! But for me, the entire experience was just a means to an end. Sure, it was an impressive physical accomplishment, and I’m grateful for how mine went, yet I didn’t dwell on it much.
That was until a few weeks into motherhood when I crawled out of my cave, eager to make friends and willing to do anything to connect with other moms. Clueless me hopped into every parenting group, church gathering, or random cluster of parents at the playground in search of adult conversation. To my utter astonishment, despite the infinite topics we could explore, the discussion always circled back to birth stories. Every single time!
Seriously, ladies? We’ve just met, and we’re already diving into details about perineal stitches?
Please, no.
Clearly, childbirth is a bonding experience for women. Unfortunately, when the Motherhood Fairy was sprinkling enthusiasm for sharing birth stories, I must have been overlooked. Because every time I’m around other parents, this topic comes up, and a little part of my soul withers away.
Isn’t it challenging enough to leave the house with little humans in tow? With their constant demands and diapers, I just crave some adult conversation.
Like, did you catch the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy? Or have you been to that new eyebrow threading spot? YOU ALL LOVE COFFEE, RIGHT?!
But no, here we go again with the birth tales. Fantastic. We’ve only known each other for 10 minutes while our kids play in the sandbox. Maybe we should save the discussion of how overrated epidurals are for at least the third playdate? Call me old-fashioned.
I won’t fault you for enjoying this exchange, but… I don’t get out often, okay? I adore my little ones as much as any mom, but I’m still recovering from the last one I delivered, and I’d really appreciate some grown-up talk. So, can we please, please discuss anything but birth stories?
Correction: Anything that doesn’t involve babies would be delightful. No milestones, no potty talk, no recounting how many hours we’re all not sleeping. (Okay, that one can stay; it’s somewhat amusing). Heck, I’d even entertain a discussion about politics at this point. 2016, AMIRIGHT?
Let’s cut to the chase: since we’re all here in comfy clothes and messy buns, it’s clear we’re all mothers who somehow managed to arrive at this playground with various-sized children. Children who came into this world through different means. Got it?
Let’s skip the details of that journey and relish in the wonder of our magical kids, but for heaven’s sake, we’re exhausted and there are countless other topics we could delve into right now.
Like, did you hear that Target is going to start serving wine soon? Just saying…
If you’re interested in more insights about family planning and parenting, check out this post on at-home insemination or visit Make a Mom for a comprehensive resource on the subject. For those curious about pregnancy, this fertility treatment resource is excellent as well.
In summary, while childbirth is undeniably a pivotal moment in motherhood, it’s okay to seek conversations beyond that. After all, we’re all navigating the wild journey of parenthood together, and sometimes, we just want to chat about life outside of diapers and delivery rooms.