On my 17th birthday, I stepped out of the DMV, squinting in the late November sun as I searched for my mom. She was waiting in the car after I had taken my eagerly anticipated written driving test. Having passed the road test—proving I could parallel park like a pro—the written exam was the final hurdle between me and the freedom of the open road and Friday nights in my small town. I studied harder for that than for any school subject because I was desperate to drive. My hard work paid off, and on that significant birthday, I passed with flying colors.
When I climbed into our old station wagon and excitedly shared the news with my mom, she handed me a small, wrapped box. As I tore away the pretty bow and wrapping paper, I discovered a set of car keys nestled inside. I gasped in excitement, imagining a shiny new car waiting for me at home. My mom, however, looked amused and said, “Honey, those are the keys to my station wagon. Feel free to borrow it anytime!”
Talk about a birthday buzzkill.
And so, I found myself driving my brother and me to school and cruising the back roads of our sleepy town in my mother’s beat-up wagon. If I was lucky enough to borrow it on a Saturday night, I would park that behemoth between my friends’ shiny sports cars at the movie theater. Nothing screams “cool” quite like arriving at a school dance in the family wagon.
High school was an awkward time for me, to say the least. Eventually, my parents helped me buy a new car before I headed off to college, but their support only went so far. They slipped the payment book into my graduation card along with a note of congratulations and a few hundred dollars to get me started.
At the time, I thought my parents were terrible at giving big birthday gifts.
When I was struggling to pay my rent, the burden of a car payment and insurance fees weighed heavily on me. I had to adjust my social spending, and there were many moments when I felt a wave of nausea looking at my bank account, as the numbers hovered dangerously close to zero every time a check cleared.
But when I called the bank to get the exact amount for my final payment, I felt like I had finally crossed into adulthood. Admittedly, I still struggled with budgeting in my 20s, but my parents imparted a valuable lesson: big-ticket items aren’t just handed to you at 16. You have to work for them, earn them, and truly appreciate them.
Now, as my son approaches his Sweet 16, he is about to learn that lesson from his father and me. We’ve had open conversations about the fact that he won’t be getting a brand-new car to drive out of our driveway on weekends. We’ve made it clear that we won’t be covering the costs of his driving adventures, but he’s welcome to borrow our family vehicles for outings.
While we won’t be purchasing him a car, we are helping him devise a plan to save enough money to buy his own. We’ve discussed saving money weekly and the types of odd jobs suitable for his age. We’ve encouraged him to seek a part-time job when he’s old enough and emphasized that while having a car would be fun, it’s not a necessity. Most importantly, we’ve told him that his schoolwork takes priority over any money-making schemes he may concoct. No need for a car if he’s not driving to college, right? #sorrynotsorry
Our decision not to buy our son a car isn’t solely influenced by my own teenage experience. While I now appreciate the lesson in money management my parents taught me, our goal is to combat the culture of instant gratification that’s become the norm today.
Kids today belong to Generation One-Click; they have information and products at their fingertips. The days of waiting for a phone call from a crush or anxiously waiting for a favorite song to air are long gone. Kids today don’t understand the frustration of waiting for anything, as Amazon’s two-day shipping has spoiled anticipation.
When my son finally passes his driving test, he’ll receive a set of keys to our family cars. The only new car waiting for him in the driveway will be the one he purchases for himself. If it takes him until 26 to buy a new set of wheels, so be it. I’ll just be relieved that I won’t have to put on real clothes on a Saturday night to pick him up in our family truckster.
In the end, I’ll be glad to share.
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Summary
This article discusses the importance of teaching teenagers financial responsibility, particularly regarding significant purchases like cars. Through personal anecdotes, it emphasizes the value of hard work in achieving goals, while also highlighting the cultural shift towards instant gratification. The author shares their approach of preparing their son for the reality of budgeting and saving for a car, rather than expecting it as a gift.