Oh, How the Mighty Have Stumbled: I Was a Terrible Friend Until I Became a Parent

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I owe an apology to all my friends who became parents before I did: I was once an insufferable know-it-all when it came to parenting. Before I had kids, my partner and I confidently declared, “How tough can it be to whip up dinner while caring for a newborn? They sleep so much!” Oh boy, were we wrong.

Fast forward to the moment our supportive family members left us to fend for ourselves: Oh my goodness, how do I even go to the bathroom?! I can’t put this baby down for a moment. Why is she crying nonstop?! We haven’t eaten in ages! (Okay, that last part is a bit exaggerated, but being alone with a newborn was a massive wake-up call.) We had no clue how to prepare meals while caring for a tiny human who seemed to require constant attention (a simple bowl of cereal felt like a monumental achievement!). And while my partner is a great cook, he had to juggle everything else while our newborn demanded all my attention. He even had to assist me in the bathroom after my C-section, as I focused on surviving every time my daughter attempted to latch on with her razor-sharp gums.

Another revelation? Newborns don’t adhere to any schedule. They’ve just entered the world, so they have no concept of day or night—and they really don’t care. So, I sincerely apologize for my past judgments.

Here are some of the absurd opinions I held, thinking I was the epitome of parenting wisdom. I’m utterly embarrassed and humbled. I feel I owe every parent a week of free babysitting for the rest of my life and a gift basket of wine, coffee, snacks, and treats to make amends.

1. Why are parents so obsessed with sleep schedules? Can’t they relax the rules a bit to hang out?
   Absolutely not. That schedule is the flimsy thread keeping sanity in the household. Bend it a little, and you might be okay. Bend it a lot, and you’ll be paying for it for what feels like ages. My kids are finally good sleepers—do you think I’d risk that hard-won stability by ignoring nap times? No way! I start to feel anxious if we’re out and nap time approaches. If it’s getting close to bedtime, I’m like, “We need to leave! It’s almost meltdown time!” I get it now; sleep schedules are everything.
2. Let’s just meet at a kid-friendly restaurant and relax for a bit.
   Sure, but there’s no “relaxing” when you take a toddler to eat out. And can we schedule lunch for 11:15 a.m. to avoid nap time disruptions? Dinner? How about 5 p.m.? Remember, sleep is almost as vital as breathing. Plus, the kids’ menu will likely feature foods my little ones will vehemently reject that day. I’ll come prepared with an escape plan and may look somewhat composed, but trust me, there’s no relaxing.
3. Just find a babysitter and come out with us.
   As appealing as going out sounds, I’d much rather collapse on my couch after the kids are asleep, enjoy some ice cream, and watch something entirely inappropriate for children. I get it now. Even when I’m out, I’m mentally back home.
4. Parents always use their kids as an excuse. They’re busy but never seem to do anything.
   I get it now. No matter how enticing plans might be, the child’s needs come first. A brief respite from chaos is nice, but if your child calls, you answer. Yes, we absolutely use our kids as a reason to decline less-than-thrilling invitations. And that sleep schedule? It rules your life. So, sorry, we can’t… the kids come first.
5. I can’t believe they let their kids behave that way.
   Eat junk food, scream, throw tantrums, etc. Sometimes you’ve got to do what you must. Maybe it’s a one-off incident because you let the schedule slip and ventured into a restaurant with a kids’ menu, and it all went south. Or maybe it’s just another day. Tantrums are part of growing up, and kids are unpredictable little bundles of energy.

So please accept my heartfelt apologies. Parenting is both humbling and challenging. We’ll never be perfect parents, and that’s perfectly fine. We can still get together as long as it’s at a time that doesn’t interfere with nap or bedtime or involve any “weird” food (spoiler: all food is weird). Here’s to solidarity among fellow parents.

For more insights on this journey, check out this other blog post at Intracervical Insemination. If you’re looking for ways to boost your fertility, Make A Mom has some great advice. Additionally, for comprehensive information about pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS.

In summary, parenting brings a whole new level of understanding to life. I’ve learned to appreciate the challenges and chaos and to approach it all with a more compassionate heart.