When the latest report cards arrived, I quickly glanced at the letter grades before diving into the more telling remarks from the teacher. That’s where the real insights lie—information about my children’s classroom behavior and interactions, which truly matter.
It’s not that I disregard grades entirely. I do value them, but I believe that placing excessive importance on achieving straight A’s can create unrealistic expectations for many children. Not every student excels in every subject; we each have our unique strengths and weaknesses. I am firmly convinced that not all kids are destined for the honor roll.
Reflecting on my own academic journey, I was once an honor roll student, even earning straight A’s and joining the National Honor Society in high school. However, my experience with chemistry was a different story. I found chemistry utterly perplexing and unappealing. My artistic inclinations made the subject feel foreign, leading to my first C in high school.
This doesn’t mean I’m indifferent to my children receiving C’s; rather, I prefer not to focus solely on the letter itself. Grades often fail to accurately represent a child’s understanding or progress. What truly matters to me is the effort they put forth and whether they enjoy the subject. If a child struggles with a topic like chemistry or simply dislikes it, that C may be perfectly acceptable.
Take writing, for instance; I relished crafting essays in high school. Yet, I recognize that at least one of my children may not share that passion. Our interests differ, and that’s normal. What I do expect is that they exert themselves and strive to do their best, even in subjects they may not enjoy. However, the “best” doesn’t always equate to an A.
While the idea of my kids achieving straight A’s is appealing, I won’t express disappointment solely based on a grade. Instead, I would feel let down if they didn’t try, seek help, or complete assignments. My struggles in chemistry were not due to a lack of effort; I simply found the subject challenging.
Each of my three children is wonderfully unique, and it’s fascinating to observe their development and interests. My eldest excels in math and science and enjoys reading and writing. She might just be capable of straight A’s, but I won’t pressure her to make it her goal.
A few months ago, she received a disappointing math grade. This was surprising since she usually thrives in math. When she admitted she hadn’t been putting in her best effort, I focused on that, not her C. I was pleased when she improved to a B on her next report card, as it reflected her increased effort rather than just the letter.
Conversely, my middle child earns good grades but lacks enthusiasm for school, often refusing to attend, which is perplexing given his academic abilities.
We need to shift the narrative away from solely pursuing A’s and B’s and instead emphasize the importance of genuine effort and understanding. I don’t care if my daughter earns an A in history if she can’t recall key details a year later. Likewise, I’m unconcerned if my son dislikes reading; he will learn that sometimes it’s a necessary part of life. As long as he puts in a solid effort, I’m satisfied.
It’s essential to remember that our children are individuals with their own preferences and aversions. They can’t be expected to excel in every area, just as I struggle with numbers. Numerous successful individuals don’t graduate at the top of their class, and attending community college can lead to a fulfilling career path too. Education is vital for my children, not just for grades but to help them discover their passions and navigate the world.
So, why do we impose unrealistic expectations of straight A’s on our children? Some will achieve it, but it’s not a universal standard. The focus should be on instilling the value of effort, and it’s perfectly acceptable if they find chemistry tedious.
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In summary, as parents, it’s essential to prioritize our children’s effort and engagement over mere letter grades, recognizing that each child has their own unique path to success.