As summer approaches, many parents find themselves sharing their space with college-aged children returning home for break. To ensure a harmonious environment, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries.
This transitional phase can be quite challenging; after all, you’ve enjoyed your independence since last August, and now that dynamic is shifting. The first time I encountered the idea of “boundaries” was while listening to a radio show. Back in the ’90s, talk radio served as an affordable alternative to therapy for young couples like my spouse and me, who were navigating life without a roadmap.
The concept of boundaries was eye-opening. It’s a simple premise: “This is my space, and that is yours. Here’s where I draw the line.” However, it was a notion I had never considered applying to my family. Having married young, my husband and I didn’t bother with boundaries; we were practically siblings, sharing everything from morning coffee to the occasional illness.
However, things got complicated when our children reached their late teens and early twenties. This is when they begin to assert their independence, setting boundaries that often feel one-sided. While it’s a necessary part of growing up, it can be tough for parents who find themselves feeling encroached upon.
Thus, I’ve decided to take a proactive approach this summer. Here are some guidelines for maintaining peace:
- If you use my washing machine and it leads to a pile of clean clothes needing folding, please fold them. I promise to do the same, and by the end of summer, I’ll have folded more laundry than anyone else in the house. (Not that it’s a competition!)
- Should you return home to find the house empty and the kitchen cold, like Santana once sang, feel free to prepare your own meal.
- If you open the fridge to find that your favorite soy burgers or almond milk are missing, I suggest a trip to the grocery store. You can leave me the receipt; I tend not to buy those items, as they don’t align with my culinary preferences.
- Lastly, if my bedroom door is closed, it might mean I’m trying to escape the chaos. If you have grievances or differing opinions to discuss, consider sending me a text or an email. I promise to read it and respond thoughtfully.
For my fellow parents managing a makeshift bed-and-breakfast this summer, remember the old adage: “If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it’s likely your college student.”
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In summary, setting boundaries during your college student’s summer break can lead to a more peaceful coexistence. By establishing clear expectations, both you and your child can navigate this time together with more understanding and less friction.