“Upset a man today: Agree with his compliment about you.”
Lara Thompson, a writer and activist based in Seattle, recently conducted a social experiment on social media. She encouraged her female followers to take a bold step: “Upset a man today,” she tweeted. “Simply tell him you agree with his compliment of you.”
At first, you might wonder, “What could possibly go wrong if I just acknowledge a compliment?” The answer might surprise you.
“It’s not a new concept, but in my personal experience, when a man compliments me and I respond with ‘I agree,’ they often react negatively,” Thompson shared in an interview. “It seems that the act of giving a compliment implies they believe I should remain unaware of my own worth.”
It’s significant, and it’s never trivial. The reactions from men when women assert their self-worth reveal deeper issues of entitlement and control. Some men feel they need to regulate how women respond to compliments, indicating a larger problem. A true compliment should uplift, not serve as a tool for manipulation. The frustration a man feels when a woman confidently acknowledges his praise highlights a shift in power dynamics that many find uncomfortable.
Women began sharing their own experiences with this phenomenon on social media.
In 2016, inspired by troubling interactions on the Instagram account “Bye Kyle,” Sarah Green decided to conduct a similar experiment. She called it “Agreeing with guys when they compliment you.” After documenting these encounters on her blog, many women contributed their own stories to her Twitter account, @sarahsvoices.
The pattern is astonishing: A man gives a compliment, a woman recognizes her own value in that compliment, and the man becomes defensive. Why is that?
Labeling these interactions as genuine compliments is akin to calling street harassment flattery. Using language to invoke a specific emotional response is more about manipulation than sincere appreciation.
“This is my overarching point: Just because you don’t witness it firsthand doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” Thompson explained. “When men respond with ‘Not all men,’ they dismiss the experiences of many women by saying, ‘I’ve never seen it, so it must not be true.’
“I urge you to listen to women’s stories and strive to understand the underlying issues,” she added.
For those interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this blog post that delves into the subject. Additionally, Make A Mom offers comprehensive resources on home insemination kits, ensuring you have the best tools available. The CDC also provides excellent information regarding pregnancy and assisted reproductive technology.
Summary
The reactions men display when women confidently accept compliments reveal deep-seated issues of control and power dynamics. This phenomenon has been observed through various social experiments, highlighting how acknowledging one’s worth can be met with defensiveness from men.