“Just as no two snowflakes are alike and each person has distinct fingerprints, autism comes in various forms,” I explain to my 12-year-old son, Lucas. As he matures, he becomes increasingly aware of others with the same diagnosis.
“Mom, there’s this boy at my tutoring session who acts strangely. He just gets up and starts rummaging through the teachers’ things without asking.”
I nod, keeping my gaze on the road, knowing he’s about to ask the inevitable.
“Does he have autism like me? Am I weird too?”
“Every person’s experience with autism is different. Remember when I said it’s a spectrum? Think of it like a rainbow. Some individuals might be searching for the pot of gold at one end, while others are still floating in the clouds. There are many different paths in between.”
He gazes out the window, lost in thought.
“What about Alex from school? He’s hurt kids, and he has autism. I never touch anyone.”
“Yes, I’m aware. His autism has shown itself through aggressive behavior.”
I brace myself for his next question. Lucas is insightful and prefers the truth over anything vague, which I appreciate.
“How can you be sure I have autism? If everyone’s autism is so different, maybe I don’t have it.”
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, preparing for a crucial conversation. “Remember Dr. Harris?” I mention the specialist who diagnosed him two years ago.
“Yes.”
“Recall all the tests and questions she guided you through? Those assessments are designed to identify autism. Based on your responses, her observations, and input from your dad and me, along with your school, she confirmed that you are indeed on the autism spectrum.”
As rain begins to tap against the windshield, the quiet in the car is punctuated by the wipers swishing away the droplets. The sun has set, casting a darker hue over our surroundings as traffic lights become more visible. Lucas remains pensive, watching the rain cascade down the glass.
“How did I get autism?” he asks.
“Well, it’s not something you catch like a cold. You’re born with it,” I reply, relieved he feels comfortable asking these questions instead of burying them inside.
“Why do I have autism when no one else in our family does?”
“You know how everyone is made up of chromosomes, a mix of recessive and dominant genes? Like how your dad has dark hair and your aunt has blonde? It’s just the way your genes align that makes each person unique, even if they share the same parents. Just like you love history while your sister doesn’t. Those differences are what make each of us special.”
He seems to accept my explanation. As we navigate through the rain, my heart aches for my son who is trying to find his place on the spectrum. It’s a moving target, and explaining it to a 12-year-old boy who yearns to understand his world and where he fits can be quite a challenge.
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In summary, every individual with autism has a distinct experience, shaped by a variety of factors. Understanding this spectrum can help both those on it and their loved ones navigate challenges and celebrate uniqueness.