I was born in 1975, and my childhood memories are tinged with a carefree spirit that defined the era. When I was around 7, my father participated in an adult-league baseball team, and we attended every game. The only sunscreen we had was a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker I received for Christmas. My mother would hand my sisters and me some cash for soda and candies, and we’d wander off, pockets filled with treats, too engrossed in our own adventures to pay attention to the game. My mother often had little idea where we were or what we were up to.
Our summers didn’t involve organized camps or strict schedules. We spent long, sun-soaked days at the beach, often capped off with a visit to McDonald’s. I vividly recall my mother pulling into the fast-food parking lot in our oversized blue Caprice Classic while I slid across the seat, unrestrained, colliding with my sisters. Still slick from a day of tanning oil and Sun-In, we quenched our thirst with Hi-C before heading home to swing on our tire until dusk.
Every day began with the same directive: “Go outside and play.” And play we did. Homework was minimal, and if you participated in sports, practices and games were conveniently held after school. The frantic pace of modern parenting wasn’t something my parents experienced. I remember my mom and dad relaxing in front of the evening news, my father with a Budweiser and my mother with her Tab.
During my teenage years, friends would often come home with me after school. We’d spend hours glued to Nickelodeon, indulging in instant ramen, making prank calls, and scribbling notes to our crushes. Our evenings were filled with long phone conversations, where we’d discuss everything from our outfits for the next day to the latest gossip.
Looking back, I cherish those memories, and I often try to weave elements of that nostalgia into my own parenting. While I sometimes long for the simplicity of my childhood in the ’80s and ’90s, I recognize that balance is essential. I believe in the importance of sunscreen, and I encourage my children to engage in activities they love. I also want them to experience the same freedoms I had, filled with opportunities for exploration.
I’ve been known to let them indulge in sugary cereals for breakfast. On sunny afternoons, my son rides his bike through the neighborhood with friends. Thanks to technology, we maintain communication, though I often don’t know his exact whereabouts. The scent of McDonald’s still transports me back to those summer days, and I frequently take my kids there for a nostalgic meal. My daughter associates ramen with comfort during illness, so I always ensure she has some.
Yet, I occasionally feel a twinge of guilt when I hear about neighbors whose children are unaware of what a Happy Meal is. When my kids want to invite friends over but their potential playmates are too busy with back-to-back activities, I question whether I’m offering them enough.
Some days are blissfully free, with my kids playing outside until the street lights flicker on. Other days, I find myself racing around as a makeshift Uber, juggling a packed schedule. I appreciate these busy days too, as they provide my children with opportunities I didn’t have.
There are moments when I could easily prepare a wholesome home-cooked meal, but the tantalizing smell of fries and soft serve overrides my plans, prompting spontaneous trips to fast food joints. I must admit, I often feel more excited about these outings than my kids do.
I don’t believe today’s parents are doing it wrong—just as I don’t think our parents in the ’80s had it all figured out either. Each generation has its approach to parenting, and I’ve chosen to blend the best of both worlds.
You can create wonderful memories while maintaining a busy lifestyle. Just because your kids aren’t running barefoot under sprinklers doesn’t mean they’re missing out, and letting them play outside until dark or enjoy ramen occasionally doesn’t indicate neglect. What remains constant across generations is the importance of moderation, so please pass the Lucky Charms. Tomorrow, I’ll be preparing an organic chicken while taking my daughter to lacrosse and my son to a coding club. This mix is our formula for a happy family.
For further insights into home insemination and parenting, check out this post and explore the resources at Make a Mom and UCSF for support on your journey.
Summary:
This article reflects on the parenting styles of the past and present, highlighting the balance between freedom and structure. While the author reminisces about their own childhood, they embrace modern parenting methods, recognizing that each generation has its unique challenges and advantages. The importance of moderation and creating cherished memories remains timeless.