Employee Name/Position: Mom; Assistant to the Chief of Toddler Turmoil, Housekeeper, Culinary Artist, Social Coordinator, Laundry Executive, Arts & Crafts Chairperson, Educational Supervisor, Cookie & Crayon Custodian, Nap Management Consultant, On-Demand Toddler Specialist
Supervisor/Title: Alex; CEO of Mom, Inc. & Chief of Toddler Turmoil
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Job Knowledge, Skills, & Abilities:
Mom possesses a foundational understanding of her role and demonstrates the necessary skills to fulfill her duties adequately. She manages to keep laundry intact, rarely incinerates dinner, and can deftly free the vacuum from a multitude of toy pieces. This year, she has significantly advanced her multitasking abilities, managing to hold me while juggling at least 25 other tasks. I’ve even seen her manipulate our home’s thermostat and tackle advanced TV remote functions.
However, her skills in loading the dishwasher and dusting could use some polishing. It’s notable that when confronted with a tough situation, she seeks help—usually from online sources or Dad.
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Quality of Work/Productivity:
Unfortunately, Mom often takes longer than expected to meet my demands, which has become a pressing issue. For instance, her response time to my enthusiastic calls of “SEAT!” and yanking on my chair can stretch to a staggering 32 seconds. Just the other day, I resorted to dragging my chair to the floor just to get her attention. She claimed to be busy removing cookie crumbs from the rug, but I suspect that was just a ruse to lie down for a breather.
Moreover, I’ve been waiting for what feels like an eternity for my beloved T-shirt and fleece to be washed. To my dismay, when she finally returned them, the T-shirt was wrinkled due to her rushed folding techniques. Clearly, a focus on improvement is warranted here, and we can devise an action plan for the upcoming year.
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Reliability:
While Mom shows commendable effort in responding to my cries and basic needs, she sometimes struggles with focus or provides inadequate responses. My constant pleas for “Help,” “Read, Read, Read,” or “SIP!” frequently divert her attention from crucial tasks like dinner prep and laundry.
Additionally, her daily engagement on social media raises eyebrows. After all, this diaper isn’t going to change itself! I’ve caught her flipping through a magazine when she should be cleaning the cat boxes or matching socks. I understand that she is entitled to breaks, but she already takes time for meals and bathroom breaks.
It’s evident that Mom starts projects with good intentions, but her follow-through often disappoints. I’m currently sporting half a haircut and seven untrimmed toenails because she abandoned these tasks as soon as I began to throw a fit.
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Communication:
Mom’s communication skills can sometimes hinder her effectiveness. She talks endlessly but often misses the point. Now that I’ve found my voice, she seems a bit bewildered. Sure, she gets when I need a drink or a cookie, but when I yank open the fridge and point, it can take her upwards of seven attempts to satisfy my requests. (Seriously, mustard again? No thanks!)
When I ask for the “Phone” or the “mote,” it’s like I’m speaking a foreign language. I know she hears me because she leaps into action when I mention “Poop.” Her selective hearing needs serious addressing. Communication is crucial in her role, and I shouldn’t have to tantrum every time I wish to run with a fork or explore the medicine cabinet.
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Work Relationships:
Mom is always proclaiming her love for me and asking for hugs, but she occasionally struggles to connect with both me and Dad. She can get quite tense when we’re tearing through the house at 8:45 PM. A little relaxation wouldn’t hurt—I’ll eventually go to bed!
Sometimes, I find her quietly weeping in a corner during an unscheduled break, which suggests she may be overwhelmed by her little team. This behavior is not suitable for someone in such an influential position. It would benefit her to embrace her diverse colleagues and their perspectives. I anticipate her growth in this area will lead to greater job satisfaction.
In summary, while Mom has shown growth in various aspects of her role, there are still areas that require attention and improvement. From communication to time management, a focused plan could help her navigate the challenges of motherhood more effectively. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts at Cervical Insemination and visit Kindbody for useful resources. Also, if you’re looking for reliable at-home insemination syringe kits, you can find them at Make A Mom.
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