As night falls, the struggle begins. My partner and I share a queen-sized bed, supplemented by a twin bed attached to it, yet our 3-year-old still manages to end up with us. After successfully nursing him to sleep, I think I can finally enjoy some time with my husband. But as soon as we settle down, our little one, Max, starts to stir. That familiar, anxious cry fills the room, a sound that can either taper off or escalate into full-blown wails. I reach over, cover him with a blanket, and offer some soothing pats. He quiets down for a moment, and I try to relax again.
But soon enough, the crying resumes. It’s nearly midnight, and this child really needs to drift off to dreamland; he was already up until 9 p.m. I wait, but the cries only grow louder. I try to comfort him again, and he eventually slips into a restless sleep, tossing and mumbling. It’s clear: this is going to be a long night.
It turns out that the sleep struggles aren’t just limited to newborns; toddlers and preschoolers can have their fair share of sleep challenges too. By 6 a.m., Max is up and demanding his morning “mama milk.” Normally, I reserve nursing for bedtime, but when I’m desperate for a few more minutes of sleep, I relent. I awkwardly pull down one side of my tank top and he latches on like a hungry little piranha. After what feels like just a few minutes—maybe 15?—he’s suddenly crying for “the other mama milk.” Fine, kid, whatever you say.
I roll him over and repeat the same process: yank, latch, drift off. But soon enough, Max decides it’s time to be fully awake. He sits up, pokes me, and declares, “I awake!” before flouncing off to the living room. I can only hope for the best as I stumble out of bed, praying my partner has managed to brew some coffee before his own workday starts.
According to Parents magazine, toddlers aged 1 to 2 should ideally sleep for 11 to 14 hours, which includes two naps. Meanwhile, children ages 3 to 5 need around 10 to 13 hours, typically with one nap that tends to vanish around age 5. However, Max lost his naptime at 2. While Parents suggests establishing a routine, discouraging night-time wandering, and introducing a comfort item, those strategies haven’t worked wonders for us.
Parenting author Lily O’Connor shares that her 3-year-old experiences similar sleep issues. She tried to stick to a schedule from infancy until 18 months but eventually threw in the towel. Now, her son is awake all night and sleeps through the day. I completely relate.
As Parents asserts, Max is supposed to still be napping daily, but we discovered a year ago that any attempt at a nap means he won’t sleep until 1 a.m. Sometimes, he falls asleep, like in his car seat, and we anxiously pray he doesn’t nap too long, or it’ll throw off everyone’s sleep schedules.
Sleep expert Valerie Kirk, from Alberta Children’s Hospital’s Pediatric Sleep Service, states that about 40% of children will experience sleep problems by the time they turn 18. These issues can encompass anything that affects a child or family’s ability to sleep well. I’m relieved to know this isn’t just us! I remember having similar struggles with my older child, who now sleeps soundly most nights. I hold onto the hope that my other children will one day follow suit—what a glorious day that would be!
To all the parents of restless sleepers, you are not alone. We’re in this together!
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Summary
This article discusses the sleep challenges faced by toddlers and preschoolers, highlighting the experience of a mother whose 3-year-old struggles to sleep through the night. It touches on expert recommendations, personal anecdotes, and the shared frustrations of parents dealing with restless little ones.