When I was a child, my mother would ask me to do the dishes, and I would storm to the sink, grumbling, “You just had kids so someone else could handle this!” Now that I’m a parent, I see how silly that thought was. People don’t have kids merely to delegate dish duty; they have kids to help with all the mundane tasks that pile up around the house. Honestly, it’s a given—kids are essentially free labor. Plus, it instills values like work ethic and responsibility. So, when I assign chores, I’m fulfilling my role as a parent, while also freeing up time for “important” adult activities, like browsing Pinterest for projects I’ll probably never attempt.
Running a household is no small feat, and I recently made a pivotal decision: my kids need to start pitching in. If they’re going to use up my toilet paper, consume my data plan, and raid the pantry until it’s nearly bare, then they might as well contribute while living rent-free.
Up until now, their chores have been primarily about cleaning up after themselves—making beds, clearing the table, that sort of thing. But despite my best efforts to remind them, I still find myself spending an inordinate amount of time cleaning up their messes, whether it’s sweeping crumbs from the floor or fishing out dirty socks from under their beds.
I’ve always taken on most of the household responsibilities because it seemed easier in the moment. I’ve been doing this routine for so long that it feels second nature to me. But I realize that by handling the bulk of the chores, I’m not doing my kids any favors. If I don’t teach them how to manage these tasks or set the expectation that they should, I’m essentially saying it’s not their responsibility. And it absolutely is. I refuse to end up with a bunch of moody teenagers who mistake “Mom” for “maid,” or even worse, raise adults who leave their dirty clothes for others to deal with.
So, I’m done. This fed-up parent has decided it’s time for the kids to chip in. However, there’s just one small catch: I’m a neat freak with high standards, while they’re young kids who couldn’t care less about keeping things tidy. I could line the living room with old pizza boxes, and they would just find a new spot to play their games.
For the greater good, I’m biting my tongue and letting go of my high cleanliness standards as they stumble through their chores (that I could do in half the time—seriously). It’s infuriating.
As they tackle household tasks, like cleaning the litter box, I watch with my mouth shut, silently cringing. My internal monologue is a different story: “Okay, there’s a mess. Get it! NO, not like that! Don’t scoop it all at once—it’s on your hands now! Just shake the scoop! Not that hard! Why is there litter everywhere?”
While they pour way too much detergent into the washer, I can already envision a bubble disaster unfolding. I could have a leisurely spa day in the time it takes them to scrub the toilet correctly—but alas, I’m watching them instead. Regardless of how long it takes or how messy they are, I hold back my comments, offering the occasional tip. It’s like when they think brushing their front teeth is enough—I have to guide them, but they need to learn the proper way on their own. The only way to do that is to step back and let them figure it out, even if it drives me crazy.
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In summary, teaching kids to help with chores can be a daunting task, especially for those of us who have high standards. However, it’s essential for their growth and responsibility. By stepping back and allowing them to learn the ropes, we equip them with valuable life skills that will serve them well in the future.