I don’t personally experience mental illness. In fact, my understanding of the complexities of mental health expanded significantly after I married my husband, Mark, nearly two decades ago. This compassionate and gentle man has faced anxiety throughout his life. It’s not just the typical nervousness we all encounter; rather, it’s a genuine disorder that causes his mind to spiral into panic without any clear reason.
Now, as a parent to a teenager, Emily, who also grapples with anxiety and a specific clinical phobia, I realize how little I knew about the depth of these challenges. I was unaware of the true impact a phobia can have and how much effort it takes for individuals with anxiety disorders to engage in daily life. While they can function, it requires significantly more energy and determination compared to those of us who navigate the world without such mental health concerns.
Many of us without mental illnesses often misinterpret the experiences of those who do. It’s tempting to think that if they just applied the same coping strategies we use during moments of fear or sadness, they could simply overcome their challenges. It’s easy to attribute their struggles to upbringing or past trauma. While these factors may play a role at times, they certainly don’t apply universally. Moreover, it’s common to assume that individuals might be choosing to remain in a difficult state or using their condition as a reason to avoid challenges.
What we need to grasp is that individuals don’t choose to have anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, ADHD, or any other mental illness, much like they don’t choose to develop juvenile diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, or cancer. Despite this, society tends to show more compassion and less stigma towards physical illnesses. Why is it that we find it easier to empathize with those facing physical health issues than with those struggling with mental health?
One reason could be the nature of mental disorders; they often seem like exaggerated versions of emotions we all experience. Almost everyone has felt anxious, sad, or unfocused at some point. Ironically, this familiarity can lead us to mistakenly believe we understand mental illness. Until I observed the realities of clinical anxiety firsthand and discussed the internal battles my loved ones face during episodes, I thought I knew what anxiety was. However, fleeting nervousness and a genuine anxiety disorder are worlds apart.
Another challenge in comprehending mental illness is its invisibility. Most people wouldn’t recognize the struggles my husband and daughter endure. Their battles are largely internal, visible only to those who are close to them over time. From an outsider’s perspective, they may simply appear shy or quirky. For example, Emily’s emetophobia (fear of vomiting) might seem like a common distaste until you witness her repeatedly questioning if the mayonnaise we just bought is safe or how the fear prevents her from attending a karate class because of the possibility of encountering someone with a stomach flu. To outsiders, she is a bright, quiet teenager, and only her family and a few close friends witness the daily effects of her illness.
Those of us who care for people with these mental health challenges recognize their struggles and the frustration that arises when others cannot see it. We understand that treatment often involves trial and error, focusing more on management than on a simple cure. We know that addressing mental illness requires a multi-faceted approach and patience through a process that often feels like two steps forward and one step back.
While medication can be an effective option, it’s not always a straightforward solution. We understand that anyone who claims to have a quick fix or miracle cure likely doesn’t have a real grasp on the complexities of mental health issues. We also know that individuals with mental illnesses are not weak; in fact, they often demonstrate incredible strength in facing their challenges.
For those of us who don’t experience mental illness, it’s crucial to acknowledge that there’s much we don’t comprehend and may never fully understand. This realization should encourage us to cultivate greater empathy and challenge our instinct to make snap judgments. Considering that nearly 1 in 5 people face a mental health issue each year, it’s likely that we all know someone fighting a silent battle. Reducing the stigma surrounding mental health will significantly help friends and family members feel safe and supported as they navigate their struggles.
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Summary
In conclusion, it is essential for those of us who do not struggle with mental illness to recognize the complexities and challenges faced by those who do. By fostering empathy and understanding, we can better support our loved ones and contribute to a society that acknowledges and addresses mental health issues with the seriousness they deserve.