The moment you welcome a baby boy into your life, a nagging thought creeps in: when will he leave me for another woman? Yes, you know that one day he’ll choose someone else, even if he spends his toddler years declaring you as his one true love.
Let’s face it: the woman he eventually marries will likely resent your awesomeness. You can bet she’ll do her best to disrupt the bond you share with your sweet little prince. Sure, women say marrying mama’s boys is ideal, but they don’t really want to deal with the “mama” part!
My partner has repeatedly encouraged me to “cut the cord.” Not a chance! I plan to hold on until it… well, you know. I mean, how long will he keep saying “I love you” as he leaves the house, or hug me in front of his friends, or ask me to cuddle at night? Who knows? But I won’t be the one to stop it.
If he’s 40 and still wants me to cuddle and scratch his arm, I’ll be all “Sorry, Jessica,” or whatever his future wife’s name might be.
Let’s be honest: he may be just five now, but soon enough, he’ll be shaving, driving, and heading off to college, likely moving in close to her family because that’s what wives seem to do. Then comes fatherhood, and before we know it, he’ll have “wifey” call to cancel our plans. He might try to make amends by sending an overpriced gift basket filled with bruised pears—because he’ll remember that I love pears, but oh, how it will sting!
We can’t let this happen. We must take a stand against the potential son-stealing right now. Let’s make those future DILs sign a contract, in addition to the prenuptial agreement. Think of it as a “Mother-in-Law (MIL)-nup,” and here’s how it goes:
- I will praise my mother-in-law’s (MIL’s) cooking, decorating skills, and the amazing job she did raising her son, my husband.
- I will express awe at her beauty and her seemingly ageless skin every time we meet.
- I will acknowledge that her son is on loan to me while we make grandkids, who will likely resemble her and inherit her wonderful traits—something I’ll mention often and with enthusiasm.
- I will remind my husband to call his mother daily, saying things like, “Have you told your mom you love her today? You should, she’s incredible.”
- I’ll sprinkle in phrases such as: “You can never thank her enough,” “Let’s visit and show our appreciation,” and “We should bring her a gift.”
- I will even tell other women that their mothers-in-law can’t compare to mine, and I’m ready to stand my ground if anyone dares to disagree.
- I’ll take my MIL to her weekly salon appointments and shopping sprees, when age dictates it.
- I’ll spend every holiday with my husband’s family because they’re fantastic, and I can’t help but notice mine pales in comparison.
- And lastly, I’ll move wherever my MIL chooses to live, be it a retirement village in Florida, a nudist colony in Arizona, or even a remote spot in Alaska. Her choice will undoubtedly suit my husband and me!
Oh, and of course, my MIL is absolutely welcome to live with us when she gets older and can’t remember my name.
There you have it! This is the agreement you can print and have ready when the inevitable happens. Trust me, this will help you keep a close bond with your sweet boy.
For more related insights, check out this article on home insemination at Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom has a great selection of kits. Additionally, the CDC offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
The playful pact known as the Mother-in-Law Agreement is a humorous take on the complexities of family dynamics, especially regarding the bond between mothers and their sons. This light-hearted contract outlines fun and supportive commitments to ensure a harmonious relationship with future daughters-in-law while cherishing the special bond with your son.
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