Motherhood is an emotional rollercoaster, blending joy, love, frustration, and fear into a chaotic mix that resembles a Jackson Pollock painting. It’s often challenging to decipher our feelings, let alone what we think about them.
One of the most potent instincts we have as mothers is the fierce desire to protect our children. This “Mama Bear” mode can hit us like a freight train, bringing forth an impulsive wave of emotion—defensiveness mixed with fear and anger. We may not even need to know the specifics; if our child feels threatened, our protective instincts kick in, ready to charge forward without hesitation.
I vividly remember my first experience in full Mama Bear mode. It was during a kindergarten incident when another parent reprimanded my son, Jake, for an altercation on the playground. Admittedly, Jake had made a mistake, but my protective instincts flared up, and I perceived this other mom as a villain. Logic, empathy, and rational thought flew out the window. How could she possibly understand the situation? I was furious—how dare she address my child without consulting me first?
In that moment, my emotions spiraled into embarrassment and self-doubt. I began to question my parenting skills and worried that Jake’s behavior indicated a path toward future mischief. I wanted to swoop in and erase the whole incident, but I wasn’t even sure who I was attacking. Mama Bear can be fierce, but she doesn’t always think clearly; sometimes, she needs a reality check.
While there may be a biological basis for our protective instincts, the rise of helicopter parenting and the scrutiny of social media have amplified this behavior. Many parents feel justified in calling out any perceived misbehavior, convinced they’re merely safeguarding their child: “I’m just looking out for my kid,” they say.
But here’s the truth: while our instincts are natural, they don’t give us permission to be rude, especially towards someone else’s child. Every kid missteps, including ours. They are children, after all. They make errors in judgment, and so do we.
What if, instead of immediately rushing to protect our kids, we allowed them the space to figure things out on their own? What if we stopped assuming the worst of other children and acknowledged that our little ones might share some responsibility for conflicts? Imagine if we could take a breath and remind ourselves that conflict is a part of growing up.
Reflecting on that day with Jake, I realize my Mama Bear instincts led me to overreact. Sure, I was upset that another parent perceived my son negatively, but he was just a child who made a mistake, learned from it, and even apologized.
Embracing those protective instincts is fine, but we must temper them with a sense of reality. So take a moment to breathe, Mama Bears. Remember that your kids are resilient. They are more than capable of navigating their own challenges.
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In summary, while our protective instincts as mothers are strong, it’s vital to balance them with reason and trust in our children’s ability to learn and grow from their experiences.