I often find myself wishing I could be a “typical” partner. I long to maintain a tidy home, prepare meals, bake treats, and host gatherings. However, my reality is far from that; my living space is often chaotic, cooking is a rarity, and laundry is perpetually piled up. Organization? I regularly spend 20 minutes searching for a textbook for school and even longer hunting for a functional pen.
Instead, I often end up curled up under a blanket in my chair, engrossed in reruns of my favorite shows while scrolling through social media and stress-eating. This leads me to feel incredibly lazy and inadequate. But I have to remind myself: This isn’t simply laziness.
I need to acknowledge that I put in significant effort every day to cope with my mental health challenges. This ongoing battle consumes much of my energy, which is why I require time to rest and recharge.
Reflecting on My Day
Reflecting on my day, I see things from a different perspective. This morning, getting out of bed was a challenge. My anxiety disrupts my sleep, making mornings particularly tough. Even with medication, rising in the morning can feel impossible. Today, it took me 45 minutes to muster the strength to shower and dress for work. Nevertheless, I made it to work early, which I consider a small victory.
Throughout the day, I managed to maintain a clear mind and avoided panic attacks, even in environments that typically trigger them. I conducted myself professionally and engaged in friendly conversation, which is a significant feat given my social anxiety. It’s taxing.
Evening Reflections
After work, I focused on relaxing, seeking out uplifting reading material, and attending to my self-care. After some effort, I was able to unwind and find calmness—an essential part of healing after a taxing week.
In the evening, I gathered enough energy to enjoy a board game with my partner and complete two loads of laundry. I also caught up on emails with friends. Though these activities are fulfilling, they can be draining.
Later, I spent three hours experimenting with techniques to help me sleep, as insomnia is a constant battle for me.
Recognizing My Efforts
When I review my day, I don’t see a lazy person; I see an individual who confronts daily challenges head-on. I recognize someone who strives to be a dedicated employee, a supportive friend, and a loving partner, all while navigating profound internal struggles. I see someone who prioritizes self-care because she understands the importance of her well-being.
I am not lazy. I engage in small battles each day. While I don’t always emerge victorious, I continue to fight.
For more insights into navigating mental health challenges and understanding the importance of self-care, check out this other blog post on our site.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the fight against mental illness is not a reflection of laziness but rather a testament to resilience and determination.