Once, my family resided in a spacious house within a sought-after neighborhood in the suburbs of Los Angeles. Like many American families, we owned a modern refrigerator equipped with a filtered water dispenser right on the door.
One afternoon, while I was filling a glass, I started to grumble: “Ugh, this is taking forever. Seriously, it’s like a whole 30 seconds just to fill this glass.”
Before I could finish that thought, I was hit by a wave of shame and absurdity. What was I saying? Was I really about to complain about the seemingly endless supply of cold, clean, filtered water that comes out of my fridge at the touch of a button?
I felt embarrassed. After all, I had instilled in my kids the importance of being thankful for essentials like food and water. I had taught them that countless individuals around the globe lack even access to safe water, let alone clean, filtered water flowing into their homes around the clock.
Yet, there I was, whining.
Those of us living in the First World often do not recognize how trivial our complaints can sound. I caught myself this time, but I know I’ve voiced grievances about things that are utterly trivial more times than I care to admit.
I’m aware my kids are equally guilty of this, and I recognize that my husband and I contribute to this behavior. While we strive to lead by example, we certainly have our slip-ups.
However, it’s also the environment we’re in. Our children are growing up in a comfortable, middle-class American lifestyle. We have a well-stocked pantry, a dependable car, and enough savings to repair our heater if it breaks down. While we may not be wealthy by American standards – often shopping at thrift stores and managing our budget – we are undeniably affluent by global standards. We truly have no reason to complain.
So when my kids whine about their sibling getting more screen time, or because we’ve run out of their favorite cereal, or because they have to walk longer than they’d like, it tests my patience. I never imagined I would resort to the cliché “Don’t you know there are children starving around the world?” lectures, but I find myself doing just that. Because the truth is, there are children who are starving, who are victims of trafficking, and who spend their entire childhoods merely trying to survive. It’s hard to listen to my kids complain about missing a movie when there are kids who would give anything to be in their shoes.
I address these moments when they arise. I explain that those of us fortunate enough to be born in a nation where drinkable water is readily available have no right to complain when our luxuries aren’t quite perfect. I make it clear that I simply will not endorse or tolerate first-world whining.
We frequently discuss the value of gratitude and contentment and the importance of aiding those less fortunate than ourselves. I remind them that even their father and I can sometimes slip into complaining, and we encourage them to call us out when we do. In our household, accountability is a shared responsibility. I need their support just as much as they need mine.
Awareness truly matters. Since that day when I caught myself complaining about the slow water dispenser, I have never grumbled about water again. Those of us in developed nations need these wake-up calls from time to time, and it’s essential for our kids to recognize their privileges as well.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of recognizing privileges in a first-world context, especially in parenting. The author reflects on personal experiences that highlight the absurdity of complaining about minor inconveniences, while many around the world face significant hardships. The importance of gratitude and accountability in family dynamics is underscored, encouraging both parents and children to be aware of their circumstances and to support one another in cultivating a mindset of appreciation.