I’ve always had a knack for finding great deals. A few years ago, when a local pharmacy announced its closing sale, my partner Alex and I decided to check it out. To our astonishment, it was their last day, and everything was marked down by a whopping 90 percent. Alternatively, we could buy a large bag for just five bucks and stuff it with whatever we liked. Naturally, we were all in for the big bag.
Handing over $10, we dashed towards the drug aisle like kids in a candy store. But instead of the usual staples like Pepto-Bismol and Tylenol, we found only a massive jug of milk of magnesia. “We don’t even use that,” Alex remarked. “Come on,” I replied, “it’s practically free! Just grab it.”
Next, we headed to the skincare section. There were no moisturizers or shampoos left, but to my delight, an entire shelf of Coppertone sunscreen was up for grabs. “How could anyone overlook this?” I thought, tossing around 20 bottles into my bag. This stuff can get pricey!
Turning the corner, we stumbled upon a gigantic display of banana slicers. “Who in their right mind thought these were a good idea?” I pondered. “Honestly,” Alex said with a chuckle, “it takes more effort to clean that contraption than it does to use a knife.” We scooped up a dozen anyway.
Suddenly, the loudspeaker blared, “Ladies and gentlemen, you have five minutes left!” Panic surged through us. We sprinted in opposite directions to maximize our haul. Alex headed for foot care, while I hustled to the beauty aisle. Unfortunately, all that remained were used lipsticks and eye shadows in colors that could only be described as unfortunate. I moved on to greeting cards instead.
As I grabbed everything in sight, I didn’t even bother to read the cards. If they had matching envelopes, they were mine! Then, I spotted some brightly colored book covers with funky designs. “How did anyone miss these?” I thought, probably giving a little cackle as I reached for an impressive 40 packages. (Okay, maybe they weren’t as stylish as I imagined. They might’ve looked more like something a child created in art class gone wrong. But the thrill was intoxicating.)
When we reunited at the car, Alex and I burst into laughter as we examined our spoils. “Uh, Jamie,” he said, holding up seven packages of corn remover blades, “we don’t even have corns!” “Hey, don’t judge,” I replied, “did we really need this kidney disease testing kit?” Our bags were filled with items that even Goodwill would consider junk—light bulbs for appliances we didn’t own, greeting cards with cheesy captions, and over $100 worth of sunscreen—more than we could ever use, even if we lived on the equator.
Then Alex spotted the book covers and raised an eyebrow. “What are you planning to do with these?” “I thought we could hand them out on Halloween,” I suggested. “Kids don’t want book covers; they want candy,” he countered. “We’re giving them candy,” I replied. “This is just a bonus!”
But when Halloween arrived, I eagerly set up by the door. The first group of kids rang the bell, and I complimented their costumes, handing out fistfuls of candy along with the book covers. Not one of them said, “Thank you!” I thought, “What a bunch of entitled kids.”
The next group came—Buzz Lightyear, Tinkerbell, and Shrek. I gave them candy and, of course, the book covers. No response. Tinkerbell looked at me like I’d just handed her a used sponge, and Buzz shot me a glare.
This unfortunate exchange continued until an 8-year-old Batman arrived. I loaded him up with candy and book covers. “She must be trying to get rid of these,” Batman whispered. I couldn’t believe it. “If you look in your bag, you’ll see I also gave you the best candy—no Mary Janes or gross old lady treats here!”
Alex overheard me and shook his head. “You’re arguing with trick-or-treaters?” he said, closing the door behind Batman. “I gave them candy! It was just a little something extra. What’s the problem?”
To this day, I prefer to stick to the tried-and-true sweets—Milky Ways and Butterfingers. But if Batman ever shows up again, I’ve got a banana slicer with his name on it.
For more insights on parenting and unique Halloween ideas, check out this related blog post. And if you’re looking for reliable at-home insemination supplies, visit Make a Mom. For a comprehensive guide on pregnancy and home insemination, be sure to check out MedlinePlus.
Summary:
In a frenzied quest for bargains at a closing pharmacy, the author and their partner end up with a bizarre assortment of items, including book covers. Despite their excitement over the deals, Halloween proves disappointing as trick-or-treaters show little appreciation for the unconventional treats. The narrative humorously highlights the challenges of finding value in unexpected places while emphasizing the joy of giving—even if it’s not always received as intended.
Leave a Reply