Motherhood has assigned me a multitude of roles — caregiver, chef, educator, chauffeur, housekeeper, and even the referee in sibling squabbles. Yet, I never anticipated that “hypocrite” would also make the list. I’ve mastered the art of the double standard, turning into a living example of the classic parental mantra: “Do as I say, not as I do.” As a mother of two teenagers (with another soon approaching their teenage years), I’ve learned that they are the ultimate detectives when it comes to spotting hypocrisy. Their eye rolls and snarky comments have definitely brought my inconsistencies into focus. Here’s a rundown of how I’ve become a walking contradiction.
1. Keeping Track of Things
I expect my kids to be responsible for their belongings. After all, they’re not toddlers anymore! Yet, I find myself bombarded with requests like, “Have you seen my shoes?” or “Where did I leave my book?” And my typical response? “It’s not my job to keep track of your stuff!” (Just go ahead and reserve my Mom of the Year Award, please.) Ironically, I can’t even locate my own keys half the time. During one chaotic morning, I called out to my kids, “Have you seen my car keys?” I think I heard my son mutter, “It’s not my responsibility to keep track of your stuff.”
2. Portion Control
I’m strict about portion sizes. “Only three cookies!” I declare, earning myself the title of the “mean mom.” If I didn’t enforce this, our pantry would be wiped clean in a matter of minutes. Oh, sure, I’m promoting healthy eating habits — that’s my narrative. But then I find myself savoring a third glass of wine once the kids are tucked in. It’s not hypocrisy if no one knows, right?
3. The Importance of Manners
I constantly remind my children about the significance of being polite and civil. It’s a fundamental part of being human! Yet, when a driver in a luxury car cuts me off, you can bet I’m unleashing a torrent of colorful language.
4. Keeping a Tidy Home
With a family of six, I drill into my kids the necessity of putting away their belongings. “Imagine the chaos if everyone left their stuff around!” I insist. Meanwhile, there are my socks casually lying next to the desk, and let’s not even mention the laundry piles that have taken over our home.
5. Screen Time Restrictions
I firmly believe kids should spend less time glued to the TV. “Go outside! Read a book!” I preach. Meanwhile, I can hardly resist scrolling through Facebook multiple times a day. Who doesn’t love a good cat meme?
6. Social Media Caution
I’ve lectured my teens about the importance of being cautious with their online presence. “Once it’s out there, you can’t take it back,” I warn. Yet here I am, sharing my thoughts on a mom blog for the world to see.
In summary, it’s clear that I’m a walking contradiction. As I navigate the challenges of parenting, I find myself grappling with the very standards I set for my children. If you ever need additional support as you explore your own parenting journey, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers reputable syringe kits to help you out. For more insights into the ups and downs of parenting, check out our other blog post here.
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