Dear Emma,
Happy Birthday! Today marks yet another year in your journey, and I find myself marveling at how quickly you are growing. There are countless aspects of our mother-daughter bond that you will only truly understand when you become a parent yourself.
Just this evening, I experienced one of those profound feelings. In preparation for your special day, I meticulously organized a small celebration a week in advance. I gathered all the ingredients for your favorite dishes and noted every color of icing you desired for your cupcakes. We excitedly planned to bake your birthday cake together and indulge in pineapple pizza until we felt like bursting!
Like many mothers, I juggle multiple roles, one of which is being a career-focused woman, which I am passionate about. Just as I carefully planned your birthday, I also manage my workdays with intention. I dedicate myself to my profession with the same fervor I have for our family. I run errands during my “lunch” breaks and eagerly anticipate your joyful smile each evening as I leave work.
I take immense pride in balancing my professional life with motherhood because I believe firmly that women deserve the same respect in the workplace as men. It’s essential to me that you grow up in an environment where professional equality is the standard.
I want you to know that having an identity beyond “Mom” is perfectly acceptable. If you choose to have a family, I encourage you to pursue success outside the home. When someone inquires about your work, I hope the first question they ask isn’t, “How do you juggle being a mom and working?”
However, I also want to share a truth about moments like tonight. Despite my careful planning—having all the ingredients ready for your favorite pizza and icing colors—I didn’t get home in time to execute our plans. Instead of baking, we ordered pizza, and the cupcakes were topped with a single color of store-bought icing.
Even though I know these minor setbacks didn’t detract from your special day, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Guilt for choosing to be a working mom who is also passionate about her career. I found myself in tears, alone in my room after you had drifted off to sleep, feeling as if I had succeeded in my job but failed as a mother.
I can’t pinpoint the exact reason for these feelings. Perhaps it’s the lingering societal expectations placed on mothers or the reality of having brought you into this world on your birthday. Maybe it’s the frustration of plans gone awry. Whatever the cause, I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, you are not alone. Do not lose hope.
As you navigate your own journey into motherhood one day, you will experience a tug between parenting and your other passions. When you question whether you were a good enough mom, remember that it’s this very concern that signifies your dedication to being a great mother.
I wholeheartedly believe that you can be an exceptional mom while pursuing your passions. You don’t have to choose one over the other. With that in mind, I want to offer you some encouragement for those times you may doubt yourself:
The path will not always be easy. In fact, I hope it challenges you. If it’s not hard, if there aren’t days when you feel overwhelmed, you may miss out on the joy of discovering how much you can achieve. You will question if it’s alright to be a mom and still pursue your own life. I want you to know that ignoring your dreams won’t benefit your children. They will learn from you, witnessing a strong, successful woman who sets an example.
Ultimately, I hope you can inspire your own child one day, encouraging them to persist in their passions, just as I hope to do for you. Don’t let the mishaps overshadow the opportunity to be a wonderful mom and chase your dreams.
With all my love,
Mom