I’ll openly admit it, even if it means being labeled an irresponsible parent, a negligent individual, or worse. People will say I don’t deserve to have children and that I’m risking their safety by potentially exposing them to danger. Some might even threaten to report me to child protective services, while others express disbelief that no one has done so yet. They may assume I’m just being lazy or tell me I should be terrified or that parenthood isn’t for me. Yet, there are times I do leave my kids in the car for brief moments.
To clarify, I have three young boys aged 6, 5, and 3. Only my older two can unbuckle themselves. They remain in a locked minivan, with the ignition off and keys out of reach, when temperatures are below 70 degrees—and never for more than three minutes at a time. This usually happens when I need to pay for gas, pick up a prescription, or briefly drop something off at my husband’s workplace.
I never leave them in the car while I go shopping, and I always ensure the doors are locked and the keys are in my possession. Still, each time, I am overwhelmed by the anxiety of being judged. I refuse to succumb to the hysteria, however.
A Different Era of Parenting
When I was younger, my mother frequently left us in the car. She would ask if we wanted to come into the grocery store or stay in the car. “Stay in the car!” we’d shout, because it was exciting. My sister and I would unbuckle ourselves and crawl into the front seats, pretending to drive to Disneyland while honking the horn to startle passersby. On hot days, my mother would simply roll down the windows. This was during the peak of the stranger danger era of the mid-to-late 1980s, yet she seemed unconcerned about leaving us unattended.
Her confidence in our safety contrasts sharply with my own fears. While I worry about potential kidnappers and predators, the statistics tell a different story. According to the Brennan Center for Justice, violent crime has decreased by 51% since 1991. The last time crime rates were this low was in 1963, and the murder rate has halved since then. The University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center shows significant declines in child sexual assault and physical assault.
Public Perception and Parental Anxiety
My true concern lies not with the safety of my children, but with the reactions of onlookers. I fear someone might report me to the authorities for leaving my kids unattended, even for a short time. I’ve seen instances where parents have faced legal actions for this very reason, despite the fact that only 19 states have laws explicitly prohibiting it. In my state, while it’s legal to leave a child alone in a car, child endangerment laws can still be misapplied.
Public perception of crime remains high, leading to a culture of overprotectiveness. Many parents feel they must keep their children in sight at all times, and leaving them in the car runs counter to that instinct. Yet, I refuse to let societal pressures dictate my parenting choices. I recognize the risks are minimal and the benefits of leaving my children safely secured in the vehicle for a few minutes far outweigh any potential hazards.
Empathy for Fellow Parents
I empathize with other parents who face similar dilemmas. Despite my apprehension about judgment from well-meaning strangers, I will continue to leave my kids in the car during quick errands. It is safe, logical, and often the most convenient option for managing small tasks efficiently. Nothing significant can happen in just a few minutes—except perhaps a concerned Baby Boomer with a smartphone.
Conclusion
In summary, while my fears are rooted in societal judgment rather than actual child safety, I maintain that leaving my kids briefly in the car is a practical choice. Parents today face unique challenges that require balancing safety concerns with the realities of daily life.
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