A few weeks back, I strolled into my son Jake’s school to pick him up. As I approached, I saw him sitting with his friends, and the moment he spotted me, he jumped up like I was a surprise guest crashing a party. It was clear he didn’t want anyone to know I was his mom. The awkwardness was palpable.
As he got closer, he leaned in and whispered, “Mom, why do you have to dress like that? Everyone is staring at you.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “No way! They’re probably just looking at you because you’re so handsome!”
“I blend in. They’re looking at you! Why do you have to wear dresses and high heels?” Just for the record, I had on a perfectly fine outfit that day. Kids these days, right?
That moment sparked an idea. I suggested we switch things up: what if he picked my outfits for a day? I promised to wear whatever he chose, as long as he kept an open mind and listened to a few insights I had about clothing choices and self-expression.
Our Experiment
Our first day of this little experiment was a success. Jake picked a super casual, sporty ensemble that I actually loved! Sure, I wear my fair share of sporty clothes, but I also enjoy dressing up from time to time. When I asked him why he chose that outfit, he said it was because it helped me “blend in” and not look out of place. If only he knew how many women I saw rocking suits and heels throughout the day!
I took that opportunity to explain to him that no one should be judged based on their clothing, including their slightly embarrassing mothers. Most people wear what makes them feel comfy and good about themselves. I told him that focusing on someone’s outfit can lead to missing out on really connecting with them. I want him to have the confidence to express himself, even if it means standing out from the crowd.
I also emphasized that what someone wears is not an invitation for anyone to gawk or stare. Respect is key, no matter the outfit! I want Jake to understand that being a mom doesn’t confine me to any particular style. I love the outfits he chose, but I also adore my dresses, heels, and trying out new trends. It’s not about embarrassing him; it’s about being true to myself. Hearing him say he doesn’t want to be seen with me because of my style really stings, even if it’s a typical teenage phase.
Recently, I shared these lessons with a friend who joked that Jake would “bake all these lessons into a gentleman pie.” Fingers crossed she’s right!
Further Reading
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Summary
In an effort to understand my teenage son’s perspective on fashion and self-expression, I let him choose my outfits for a day. We had a productive conversation about individuality, respect, and the importance of not judging others based on their clothing. This light-hearted experiment allowed us to bond and discuss deeper topics, while also highlighting the significance of being true to oneself, no matter the age.