The extent of my upbringing in terms of religious education was minimal. I had vague references to a “higher power” that supposedly created everything, received a children’s Bible from a family member (which remained untouched on the shelf), and was consistently reminded that being a good person was what truly mattered. What a refreshing idea.
I was never baptized, never taken to religious services, and never instructed on what beliefs to adopt. My parents, while they held their own religious convictions, especially my mother, prioritized teaching me kindness over adherence to any specific faith. She believed that good values could be instilled without the need for religious doctrine, so none was imposed upon me.
My parents focused less on the rituals I did or didn’t engage in and more on raising me to be a person of character and integrity. For other parents, faith may be a guiding force in this endeavor, but for mine, it wasn’t essential. They understood that moral principles could thrive independently of religious affiliation, and they felt it was vital for me to carve my own path rather than follow a prescribed one.
Now that I am older, I recognize the wisdom in my parents’ choice to allow me to explore my beliefs independently. I’m not here to dictate how others should raise their children, religious or otherwise. However, if you’re curious about the outcome of a child raised without religion, I can confidently say that I have developed a strong sense of self.
There’s a common misconception that lacking a religious framework means one cannot possess a moral compass. “Alex,” people often say, “How can you have morals if you don’t believe in God?” Let me clarify.
When I was eight, I witnessed a car accident right in front of my family while we were stopped at a red light. My father, without hesitation, parked the car and rushed into the intersection to assist. He calmly guided one of the car crash victims through a panic attack, and soon, other bystanders joined to help.
As a child, I learned firsthand the profound impact that one person’s compassion can have on another. I recall the numerous times I was encouraged to aid others, to be mindful of my neighbors, and to offer help whenever possible. These lessons, while echoed in many religious texts, were not contingent on a holy book for me to comprehend.
When asked about the source of my morals, I think back to that day when I witnessed my dad hold a woman’s hand through a shattered car window. Whether or not a divine presence was there is uncertain, but I know my father was.
From an early age, I grasped that doing good mattered—not because of potential rewards or punishments in an afterlife, but because it could profoundly impact another person’s life in the present. On that fateful day, my father was a beacon of light amidst chaos, reassuring the woman that she was alive and not alone.
This upbringing instilled in me a desire to be that light for others. I learned to strive for what is right not due to divine obligation or ancient decrees but because our treatment of one another shapes the world we inhabit. Like my parents, I aspire to foster a society grounded in kindness and empathy—without conditions or exceptions.
My parents often reminded me that my generation would inherit the world, emphasizing that every act of kindness or cruelty contributes to shaping the future. I’ve carried that lesson with me.
Contrary to popular belief, I did not grow up feeling lost or devoid of purpose; instead, I developed a strong resolve to be a positive change agent—someone reaching through the glass to support others amid turmoil.
So, what does a child raised without religion come to believe? My brother, for instance, identifies as a moderate Christian with his own convictions, while I embrace a more liberal perspective as an atheist. (Yes, it turns out that a person raised without religious constraints can grow into just about anything.) Regardless of where we stand, I appreciate having the opportunity to determine my beliefs without being told they dictate my worth, fate, or morals.
When I identify as an atheist, I often encounter awkwardness or even hostility. However, I have learned to brush it off. My focus is on making a difference—whether that means breaking the stigma around mental illness, creating safe spaces for LGBTQ individuals, standing strong as an ally against inequity, or educating myself and others about systemic injustices.
Just as my parents instilled in me, I am dedicated to doing good and leaving the world better than I found it. For someone raised without a so-called “real” moral framework, I believe I am doing quite well.
In summary, growing up without religion has allowed me to develop my own moral compass based on compassion and kindness, rather than dogma. It has equipped me to challenge stigmas and advocate for change, demonstrating that one can lead a meaningful and purposeful life regardless of their spiritual background.
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