We’re not swimming in cash here, so let’s get those lights off, shall we?
I’ve been morphing into my father for years—probably since the day I was born. But nothing speeds up this transformation quite like becoming a parent myself. One of the most glaring signs that I’m becoming my dad, aside from the occasional backache and those ever-deepening dark circles, is the stuff I find myself shouting at my kids.
There was nothing more exhausting than hearing my dad rant about lights being left on, doors swinging wide open, the TV blaring, or… well, let’s not get into toilet seat issues (that one’s on my partner). Now here I am, echoing those same complaints. Money doesn’t grow on trees!
It seems I’m on my way to becoming every dad rolled into one.
Getting ruffled by your kids’ cluelessness regarding household expenses is just part of the parenting gig. And let’s face it, tuning out whatever your parents drone on about is an inherent part of being a kid. Combine these two realities, and you’ve got me shouting clichés at my 5-year-old all summer long. (Yes, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” is one of my favorites.)
I spend my evenings wandering around the house, turning off lights and mumbling to myself. If my siblings popped over and closed their eyes, they might think they were back at our dad’s place. And sure, they’d probably poke fun at me.
But guess what? They don’t foot my electricity bill, so their opinions can take a hike! Utility bills aren’t just boring pieces of paper; they’re real-life budget eaters that kids blissfully ignore. I’m pretty sure my 5-year-old believes the power for his Death Star nightlight, his beloved Netflix, and the iPad he gets to use sometimes is as plentiful and free as air. Based on how he turns on the faucet to wash his hands and then dashes off to show me his latest Lego creation, I suspect he feels the same about water.
Of course, 5-year-olds have no grasp of money. (My son thinks every coin is a penny, and yes, he once swallowed a penny leading to a rather unpleasant diaper situation—let’s just say I’ll leave that story there.) But if they did understand, they’d probably still assume that water, electricity, heat, food, and Wi-Fi magically appear without cost.
Kids really know how to enjoy the good life when it’s all taken care of for them. And honestly, I’d like to keep them blissfully unaware for a while longer.
I’m not looking to burden my 5-year-old with the harsh realities of our budget and increasing debts, just as he doesn’t want to stress me out about morphing into my father before I hit the big 4-0 (and that’s less than a month away!). But that’s just how parenthood works—the inevitable push and pull of family dynamics.
It’s a given that we turn into our parents. It’s a given that kids will be kids. It’s a given that my stomach will probably ulcerate from all this stress. Let’s hope it’s also a given that I can protect my kids from the daily pressures of adulthood until they’ve fully savored their childhood and are mature enough to help navigate the real world with me.
They can start working at age 10, right? That sounds reasonable. Until then, whenever they leave a light on, I’ll just pretend to deduct it from their nonexistent allowance.
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In summary, while I’m turning into my dad, I’m also learning the fine art of parenting through the humorous struggles of managing a household with kids who seem blissfully unaware of the costs involved. Here’s to hoping I can keep them shielded from adult worries just a little longer!