Recently, I found myself chatting with some friends who are gearing up to send their seniors off to college this fall. Our discussion veered from the classic empty nest syndrome to the stress of choosing a major, and of course, the hefty price tag that comes with it. As someone who’s still a few years away from this milestone with my own oldest child, I found these conversations to be quite enlightening.
One friend mentioned her teen is headed to college as an undecided major, and honestly, I was taken aback. When I was 18, the thought of telling my parents, “I’ll figure it out while lounging in my dorm room” was unfathomable. Sure, I knew I wanted to be a nurse, which made my decision easier, but I was also mindful that my parents had two more kids to put through college. I hustled to finish my degree on time, understanding it wasn’t just about me.
As I prepare for the emotional rollercoaster of dropping my son off at college, I’ve also come to grips with the financial commitment it requires. With a daughter following a few years later, we’re looking at a choice between splurging on a shiny new Tesla each year for eight years or funding two college degrees. While the Teslas sound tempting, I’m a responsible adult and will prioritize my kids’ education.
My husband and I started saving for college almost as soon as our kids took their first breaths. We made a pact early on to cover their higher education costs. Both our families supported us through college, and we decided to do the same for our children. Alongside our monthly savings, we’ve invested any monetary gifts they’ve received since birth. Thankfully, our financial planning is paying off, and their college funds are growing nicely.
However, there’s a caveat: they must have a clear vision for their futures before I hand over the cash. I refuse to fund my child’s journey of self-discovery through four years of parties and spontaneous ski trips. My husband and I have scrimped and saved over the past 13 years, and I won’t let an indecisive teenager squander that.
When I express these views to my friends, they chuckle and say I sound like the overly invested dad from the movie Some Kind of Wonderful. In that film, a father meticulously plans his son’s business college path, much to the dismay of his artistic offspring. The story culminates with the son spending his college fund on diamond earrings for a date, leaving the dad to ponder where he went wrong.
But I’m not that dad. I have no intention of pushing a specific career path on my kids or living vicariously through them. While I may have the means to pay for their education, I won’t let them waste that chance. I’m all for supporting their journey, but they need to have a clear direction in mind.
Today’s kids often get to “find themselves” without being held to higher standards. Many parents have softened their approaches to parenting, leading to a generation that feels entitled. My kids aren’t entitled to my money just as I’m not entitled to dictate their career choices. We need to collaborate, ensuring they receive a purposeful education that translates into real-world opportunities.
As college approaches, we’ll help our kids discover themselves long before they start using our hard-earned money. We’ll engage in ongoing discussions about their aspirations, where they want to live, and what brings them joy. I’ll take them on campus tours and share tales of my college experiences—tears and all—when I help him settle into that tiny, overpriced dorm room.
And yes, I promise those tears will be from missing him, not because I can’t afford that Tesla. Mostly.
For more insights on navigating the complexities of college education, be sure to check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for more information on self-insemination, visit Make a Mom for authoritative advice.
In addition, if you want to read about parenting and financial responsibilities, you can find useful tips here.
Summary
The author reflects on the financial and emotional considerations of sending their children to college, emphasizing the importance of having a clear career path before funding education. While committed to supporting their children’s future, they assert the need for accountability and direction.